


The Person That I Am Today

by Shells19



Series: Life's Never Easy [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Because they suck so much ass, But hugging mostly because there are hurt feels everywhere, Certain characters finally get what's coming to them, Have I mentioned how horrible Thor's parents are, Loki Angst, Loki Feels, Loki Needs a Hug, Loki has a secret, Loki is a badass and no-one can tell me any different, M/M, Tattoos, Their love is so awesome, Thor Angst, Thor Feels, Thor Needs a Hug, Thor thinks too much, Thor's parents are truly horrible, Thorki love, Tony No, We need to see Thorki hugging, and kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:16:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3222023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shells19/pseuds/Shells19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is always a positive and a negative. Positive – Thor and Loki’s relationship is still going great. Negative – Thor realises that there are some things you can’t escape from. While dealing with his own problems, Thor begins to see that maybe he’s not the only one with secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. These Are My Words

            He was nervous – very, _very_ nervous. So nervous, in fact, that Thor found himself constantly looking over his shoulder, through the glass, and onto the streets, fearing that he might see his mother and father. Thor shuddered at the mere idea of his parents finding him in _this_ place. There was a faint smell of smoke and antiseptics, chemicals that disinfected and sterilised the tools that were needed. It was an odd combination, to say the least. Of course, Thor didn’t know what else to except from a tattoo-parlour.

            Sighing, Thor mentally shook himself. There was no need to act so jumpy. His parents had absolutely no idea where he was at. For all they knew, he was hanging out with Clint and Natasha. Perhaps that wasn’t the smartest move, telling them about his other two new friends, but he gave no indication that they knew of Loki.

            _Loki_.

            Turning his head away from the window, Thor found him slowly moving throughout the tattoo-parlour, staring at the different tattoo-designs that were on the walls for advertisement. He seemed to be in another world, emerald green eyes faraway, but at the same time, calculative. Before he was consciously aware of what he was doing, Thor found himself moving towards him, hand reaching out, fingertips grazing over his arm, coming to rest on his waist. It was all still so new to him – touching Loki, holding Loki, _kissing_ Loki – but he had long since decided that he would take it all in stride. Time with Loki had told him to stop thinking so much and just re-act.

            “Are you seriously thinking about getting one?” Thor asked for what must have been the second or third – or tenth – time. He had nothing against tattoos, he just … well, he never really knew anyone personally who had them. Odin and Frigga were pristine and immaculate and _perfect_ people. They sneered and frowned upon anyone who had a spot on them. And while Thor wasn’t judgemental like his parents, he found tattoos to be wary.

            “I like that one up there,” Loki said, and Thor looked up to where he was pointing. It was definitely an interesting tattoo. At first glance, it looked like the number eight, but after only a few seconds more of staring at the thing, Thor came to realise that it was actually a coiled snake.

            He almost snorted. Of course, Loki would like snakes.

            “Why?” Thor asked, stepping away from Loki and moving closer to the wall where the picture was hanging. “And are you going to get the tattoo coloured in, because that’s a lot of ink and it will hurt like a bitch.”

            “How would you know? I think I’ll be the judge, seeing as how I’m the only one of the two of us that actually has another tattoo,” Loki replied, causing Thor’s head to snap back around, eyes widening, because where in the hell else did Loki have a tattoo? True, they haven’t done much else besides kissing, their hands cautiously wandering around their bodies, experimenting limitations, but Thor had seen Loki with his shirt off and he hadn’t yet seen another tattoo. His face flushed, but Loki didn’t seem to notice, _thank God_. “The snake is Jörmungandr, also known as the Midgard Serpent. He was taken from his home and put into our oceans, and it’s believed that he’s so big, he can wrap himself around the world and still be able to touch his own tail.”

            Thor slowly nodded his head, taking in the information that was basically common knowledge, but it seemed to mean more coming from Loki. Perhaps it was his voice. Loki had the voice of a poet, compelling and powerful, quiet, but still strong enough to bring everyone to their knees at the depth. Yup, Thor had lost his mind. Shaking his head slightly, Thor looked at Loki and raised his brows. “So why are you getting Jörmungandr?”

            “In Norse Mythology, he’s the second son of Loki, God of Mischief, as you know,” Loki replied, moving away from the picture on the wall. Thor followed behind immediately.

            “And you’re getting it to stroke your ego?” Thor supplied, unsure where exactly Loki was getting at. The slight glare that he got for his quip made him grin, though.

            “I’m getting Jörmungandr, because I like Norse Mythology, I like snakes, and yes, I’m stroking my ego some. Now stop being a dick and pick one.”

            “What?”

            “My uncle will be your guardian,” With a shrug of his shoulders, Loki continued on down the wall, glancing around at the pictures that were up for advertisement, but he appeared completely oblivious to Thor’s momentary panic. Thor also found it astounding how he could tell, even if Loki hadn’t said anything, that he’d made up his mind, because the glimmer in his emerald green eyes wasn’t anywhere near as sharp as it was earlier. “It wouldn’t be any problem.”

            “Uh, I – I’m not entire sure I even want one. I just thought – you never said anything –” He needed to calm the hell down. The man that was behind the desk in the way back of the store had picked his head up from what he was doing; giving Thor a weird, somewhat impatient look, before turning his gaze back down.

            Thankfully, Loki’s face broke into a grin before Thor could fall into an outright panic. “Relax, Thor. We’ll get you some ice-cream after this.”

            “I will kick your ass, Loki,” Thor growled, closing the distance between them, his hands planting firmly on Loki’s hips. The man behind the counter didn’t seem to be giving them the time of day, so it was a lot easier for Thor to show such blatant displays of affection. Each touch felt like electricity, and knowing that Loki was welcoming it and not pushing him away – actually laughing and leaning into him – had his heart pounding in his chest.

            “I hope you do more than that to my ass,” Loki replied back and, before Thor could think more into that – because _that_ certainly wasn’t something Thor was expecting to hear – the bells on the door chimed, causing the both of them to turn their heads. Loki slipped out of his hold, walking towards the large man that had entered the tattoo-parlour. “You’re late almost twenty minutes, you jackass. I told you I had a shift at one.”

            “I know, I know. My apologies, little nephew, but I was –”

            “Smoking a joint?”

            “Don’t tell your mother.”

            The man was huge, standing easily over six feet tall. He had massive shoulders and long legs, eyes a bright icy blue colour. And while Loki had shoulder-length jet black hair, the man that was standing before him was completely bald. But there was no doubt that they were related. While Loki was tall and muscular with a lean body, the man’s structure was equally as proportional. Thor wondered if Loki would look like that in a few years, perhaps with a few more late growth-spurts. But the man had an angular face, much like Loki’s, with high cheekbones. His skin-tone was even the exact shade of creamy white as Loki’s.

            Thor’s thoughts were interrupted at the sound of Loki laughing. He blinked and realised that Loki was motioning him over. “Thor, this is my pitiful excuse of an uncle, Helblindi.”

            “As always, little nephew, go fuck yourself,” The man – _Helblindi_ – said, though there was no heat in his words, only humour and affection. Thor found himself relaxing. A hand was extended towards him and he immediately reached out and took it, shaking it firmly. “It’s nice to meet you. I hope he’s not as cruel to you as he is to me.”

            “He has his moments,” Thor replied, smiling easily.

            “Right, well, now that we’re all introduced and getting along wonderfully, I know which tattoo I want to get,” Loki replied. Thor was momentarily caught off guard when Loki took him by the wrist and started pulling him back to where the Jörmungandr-tattoo was located. They hadn’t ever displayed their relationship in front of anyone before, so he had no idea how he was supposed to act, but after looking back at Helblindi, he found that the man couldn’t seem to care. His eyes were locked on the picture on the wall that Loki was pointing to. And while he was all jokes and laughter earlier, his expression seemed to sober up some.

            “Are you sure that’s the one that you want, Loki? That’s a lot of colour-filling. Where do you even want to put it?” Helblindi asked, turning his icy gaze on Loki.

            “Inside wrist,” Loki replied, staring up at the picture before looking at his uncle. Thor watched him turn his left wrist over, pointing to the inside of it with thin, delicate-looking fingers. Of course, Thor knew that they were anything but delicate. They were worn with work and experience and, somehow, that made them look all the more tantalising. “It’s nothing big. I just want something to tide me over until later.”

            “Oh, God, please don’t tell me you’re addicted to ink. That’s the last thing I need. Your mother will surely kill me.”

            “Well, she hasn’t yet and she knows you smoke pot, so I think you’ll be fine. Now come on – I only have a three hour window and we got here at opening so we can get this done.”

            Snatching the picture down from the wall – Thor wasn’t sure if Loki was even allowed to do that – he watched as Loki made his way to the back of the store, hips swaying, to the man who was still behind the desk. Apparently, if the man wouldn’t come to them then Loki would go to him. He leaned over the desk and started talking to the man and, while Thor’s attention was solely on Loki, he almost jumped when he felt an arm brush against his. Glancing up, he saw Helblindi, who was watching Loki, as well.

            “So … you’re the boyfriend?”

            “Yeah, I guess,” Thor said unsure of what the correct answer should be. He and Loki hadn’t really talked about their relationship and how they should label it as. They were pretty much taking it a day at a time.

            Helblindi nodded, pursing his lips. “How long have you two been together?”

            “Four months,” Thor answered.

            “So I guess I don’t need to have the talk with you,” Helblindi said, and the warning in his voice was enough to cause warning bells of his own to go off in Thor’s head. He glanced up at the man, seeing nothing but seriousness in his icy gaze. “Because if you fuck with my nephew and hurt him in any way, I will hunt you down and slaughter you.”

            And for some reason – he had no idea why, because he was pretty sure Helblindi was dead serious – Thor found himself smiling. “No, you won’t, because if there will be any killing if I fuck up the relationship, Loki will get to me first,” He said, only to then add as an afterthought: “And I’m pretty sure there won’t be anything left for you to hunt down and slaughter.”

            Nothing happened for a moment. Thor felt his heart pounding in his ears, against his rib-cage, threatening to bust right through. Did he say something wrong? Had he misjudged Helblindi? Was the man getting ready to kick his ass for talking back to him and making it sound as though he wasn’t taking him seriously? But before Thor could outright panic, Helblindi finally cracked, his laughter bellowing out of him, causing Thor to almost wince at the sheer volume alone. The man clamped a hand down on his shoulder, shaking his head in amusement.

            “You’re going to do just fine, kid.”

-x- -x- -x-

            It was hilarious and ridiculous and juvenile of Thor to think that his day would remain happy and content and stress-free. It was frustrating and annoying and useless of him to think that his parents would change. The wonderful day that he started with had crashed down around him in the matter of seconds when he walked into his room and found pamphlets of community service projects and volunteer programmes just waiting to be delved through. And what made him want to scream, what made him want to take everything and send them through the shredder was how his mother and father had the _audacity_ to have sign-up and registration sheets put to the side in a nice pile, as though they had already made up their mind and were just pretending to give him the choice to decide for himself.

            And what was even more frustrating was the fact that, not too long ago, that approach had actually worked in tricking him. But his eyes were open now, had been for a little over four months, and the thought of his parents playing such a cruel game with him for their own agenda stung too sharply for his liking.

            Clenching his jaw tightly to ensure he didn’t start screaming his head off right then and there, Thor closed the distance between himself and the desk and grabbed the piles in his hands, uncaring if he crumpled them in any way. It wasn’t as though they were going to be sent off anywhere. Moving out of his bedroom at a quick pace, Thor made his way towards his mother’s office, intent on dumping everything on her desk and just leaving the house for the rest of the day, because he sure as hell wasn’t going to hang around to have yet another screaming match with them. _Those_ types of nights were happening almost regularly now and, despite how much his parents frustrated him to no end, Thor honestly didn’t want to argue with them all the time. He just wanted them to back off and let him breathe a little. But when he pushed the door to his mother’s office open, the last thing Thor expected to see was her sitting behind her desk, which was why he came to a sudden stop, his mouth falling open. What was she doing home? She – and his father – wasn’t expected home for at least another three hours …

            Thor didn’t get the chance to even think about what he was going to do. She looked up, her light blue eyes assessing as she took him in. Thor felt as though he was being studied, examined. It was a feeling that a child should never feel when being looked upon by a parent. It was disgusting. “Thor.”

            “What are you doing here?” He asked. Apparently, there was no need for pleasantries. She was busy and, judging by the tone of her voice, not at all in the mood to deal with him. “Why aren’t you at work?”

            “I’m in my office, I am at work,” She said, and Thor watched almost in a daze as she leaned back slightly in her seat, removing the glasses that she had perched on her nose. When she said nothing else, though, he blinked, snapping out of his shell-shocked state. Involuntary glancing down at pamphlets and sign-up/registration sheets, Thor heard her leaning forward once more. “So you’ve looked through them. I’m glad that you did. What have you decided on?”

            “I, uh … I haven’t decided on any of them.”

            There was a pregnant pause. “Oh? Did you have questions?”

            “Yeah, what are you doing?” Thor found himself asking, the tone of his voice suddenly turning harsh. He blamed the way she was speaking to him, like he was stupid and slow and having trouble understanding anything that she was saying. She was speaking to him as though he was an idiot, a child that was incapable of taking care of its own self, and Thor could feel his blood boiling at the thought that _that_ was how his parents viewed him. He was useless and pathetic and needed to be guided through life, because his choices and his decisions were wrong in their eyes. “What is all of this?”

            “It’s nothing that you haven’t seen before,” Frigga answered, her voice taking a tone of its own. She sat up straighter and, somehow, she was still able to make Thor feel small. How she was able to do such a thing, Thor would never know, but he had to force himself to remain where he was standing and not make an excuse and run back to his room. No, this needed to come out, needed to be straightened.

            “I thought we talked about this. I thought I told you that I was done being your ride to the top of the mountain.”

            “Oh, please, Thor,” Frigga shook her head, going so far as to scoffing. “You’ve had your tantrum, you’ve rebelled. Now let’s drop this. We all do things in life that we don’t want to do. It’s called growing up.”

            “I –” Thor started, stumbling over his words. They weren’t taking him seriously. They had _never_ taken him seriously. “Are you kidding me right now? Has everything I said to you and father gone completely over your head? I said I’m done! So you can take all of this –” Closing the distance between himself and the desk, Thor dumped the sign-up/registration sheets overtop Frigga’s paperwork, dropped the pamphlets, and stepped back, shaking his head. “–and do whatever you want with it, but I’m not spending another summer volunteering for your benefit.”

            He didn’t wait to hear what Frigga would say in return. No, Thor was just done. He went back to his bedroom only to grab the keys to his car, and then he was storming down the stairs and walking out the front door, slamming the door shut behind him. Once he got behind the wheel, he pulled out his mobile and checked the time. Loki had another two hours left in his shift – it wasn’t a long one, and he’d been rather vocal about how frustrated he was, because he really needed the money this week for something – and Thor couldn’t think of a better place to be than at the diner with him.

-x- -x- -x-

            “So you just dropped the shit and walked out?”

            “That’s how it happened, yeah.”

            “And what did your mother do?”

            “I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. I came straight here.”

            Thor watched the corners of Loki’s lips quirk upwards slightly at his words, but he said nothing in return. With the tip of the pen in his mouth, Loki was busy counting the ketchup containers that were all piled at one corner of the counter. Apparently, Thor had stumbled in on Loki doing inventory. Sif had been kind and said he could stick around, but to keep the chatting at a minimum if he was going to be there for Loki. Hogun was rather particular when it came to inventory.

            “So what are you going to do?” Loki finally asked, jotting down a number on the sheet before he put the paper under the counter and the pen behind his ear. He looked amazing like that, Thor thought, his face slightly flushed with how quickly he was moving, the ends of his hair curling out.

            With no-one else in the diner at that moment, Thor merely swirled his seat at the counter around and watched as Loki dispersed the ketchup containers back to their designated tables. “I don’t know, to be honest. Arguing and deflecting doesn’t seem to be working. Ignoring the problem doesn’t seem to be working, either.”

            “If only it did,” Loki commented, throwing a smile in Thor’s direction.

            Thor smiled back before snorting, shaking his head. “I can’t believe she said I was just _rebelling_ , like I’m just acting out, because I want attention or something.”

            “Well, all I can say to you is to not give up on this. If you don’t want to be their bitch any more then don’t be. I highly doubt they’ll drag you and stand over your shoulder to watch you pick up trash along the side of the road if you say no to their faces.”

            “Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” Thor said, almost to himself. He honestly wouldn’t put it past his parents to do something as drastic as standing over him to make sure he was doing what he was being told. They were controlling like that – always had been. But Loki didn’t say anything in reply and Thor didn’t add anything else. The silence was comfortable and Thor spent a good five minutes simply watching Loki move around the diner, all grace and purpose, hips swaying and lean muscles flexing with every motion. It was only when Loki was pulling down a box from one of the shelves behind the counter did Thor blink. He straightened, his eyes zeroing in on the tattoo that was still covered up on Loki’s inner left wrist. An idea came to mind then, one that had his heart pounding. “Hey, Loki …”

            “Yes?”

            “What are the chances of your uncle coming back to the tattoo-parlour?” Thor asked. Loki turned back around and gave him a curious look, and Thor only swallowed thickly before shrugging his shoulders. “I kind of changed my mind …”

            “You want a tattoo?” Loki asked sceptically. Thor nodded his head and he watched as Loki sighed and set the box down, walking around the counter. He took Thor’s hand in one of his while the other rested on his thigh. “Thor, you know I wasn’t trying to pressure you earlier, right? If you don’t want to –”

            “I do,” Thor said, interrupting him. He squeezed Loki’s hand before leaning in, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek. “Do you think he’ll be okay with it?”

            Loki rolled his eyes and snorted. “You met the man. What do you think?”


	2. I've Never Said Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a positive and a negative. Positive – Thor and Loki’s relationship is still going great. Negative – Thor realises that there are some things you can’t escape from. While dealing with his own problems, Thor begins to see that maybe he’s not the only one with secrets.

            He wasn’t regretting it or second-guessing himself. He really wasn’t. He was just … incredibly, _incredibly_ nervous. Thor and Loki were sitting on a black leather sofa in the tattoo-parlour, which had a few occupants walking around, talking back and forth. The buzzing of instruments was prominent in Thor’s ears, and he would be lying if he said it wasn’t making his heart pound just a little bit more than usual. Thankfully, though, the couch that they were sitting on was tucked away in the corner, which offered the two of them a little bit of privacy.

            “You don’t have to do this, you know?” Loki said, breaking the silence. Thor looked up from where he was staring down at the binder that Loki had in his lap that was full of tattoo stencils and drawings.

            He raised an eyebrow. “What – get a tattoo?”

            “Yeah,” Loki replied, giving Thor a look that obviously meant that he knew that Thor knew exactly what he was talking about. Perhaps it was a useless attempt to try to act dumb around Loki. He had the uncanny ability to see right through him anyway. “You didn’t want to get one this morning and you had a fight with your parents and you suddenly want one. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were _actually_ rebelling now.”

            “Is it really rebelling when I’m making a choice for myself for once?” Thor asked hotly, not at all liking Loki’s accusation – had he not been supportive just an hour and a half ago? Where the hell was all of this coming from?

            “Thor, don’t get pissy with me. If you want the fucking tattoo then we’ll get you the fucking tattoo. I just want to make sure that this _is_ what you want. You realise that these are permanent. They aren’t going to come off. And the reality of tattoos is that they will stretch if you get fat and they will shrivel up if you suddenly decide to lose muscle tone,” Loki flicked Thor’s arm, eyeing the way the sleeve of his shirt was straining against his muscles. “And there is a ninety per cent chance that, later on down the road, you will regret ever getting one.”

            “Do you?”

            “It depends. I just got this one –” He pointed to the still-bandaged tattoo on his inner left wrist. “– And I only had the first one for a little over a year. Sometimes I hate myself and question it, other times I feel like a fucking god. It’s hard to tell where I stand with it.”

            Thor snorted and turned his attention back to the binder that was still in Loki’s lap. “So why should I listen to you then?”

            Of course, that definitely wasn’t the right thing to say, because Loki snapped the binder shut and gave Thor a hard look, those wild emerald green eyes of his full of life and – what looked to be – barely restrained annoyance. “You should listen, because I have experience. I sometimes regret mine and I took weeks – _weeks_ , Thor – just deciding if I even _should_ get one. You only want one now, because your mother pissed you off.”

            “We’re teenagers. Aren’t we supposed to make stupid, reckless decisions at least once in a fucking while?” Thor demanded crossing his arms over his chest, ignoring a few glances he got from the other patrons that were closest to where they were at when he raised his voice. He paid them no mind, though.

            “This is a pretty big decision to make. There’s still time. Maybe you should sleep on it and think –”

            “I am so tired of thinking, Loki,” Thor said, interrupting him with a shake of his head. “I think so fucking much all the fucking time. I just … I want spontaneity. I want to wake up and regret this shit, but ultimately knowing that it was under my own volition.”

            “They’re going to be absolutely furious with you …” Loki said, looking hesitant, as though he wanted to give in, but at the same time, he didn’t want to just let Thor make such a huge mistake.

            “Let them. I don’t care.”

            Thor watched as Loki opened his mouth to say something once more, but to think better of it, because he pressed his lips together and slowly nodded his head. Gently pulling at Loki’s shoulder, Thor was able to get the man to lean back against him and open the binder up again, silence comfortably settling around them, though Thor knew it wouldn’t last long. Loki wasn’t as relaxed as he was once, his shoulders slightly stiffer than they were just minutes prior. It was only a matter of time now …

            “Honestly, Thor, I –” Loki started, but Thor was ready for him. With a sigh, he reached out with his left hand and caught Loki’s jaw, turning the man’s head towards him and effectively silencing him by pressing their lips together. It wasn’t a rough kiss or even a truly mesmerising one, but it was sufficient enough to hush whatever words of protest Loki had about him wanting to get a tattoo. And truly, knowing that he had halted Loki’s train of thought with just a kiss … it would definitely be getting to his head later on. He wouldn’t be letting Loki forget that any time soon.

            The change was gradual. Loki continued to slowly flip through the binder and Thor should have probably been paying attention to it more than Loki, but he couldn’t help himself. He loved the way the blush on his cheeks had yet to fade, how his lips were pressed together to two thin lines. His shoulders were relaxing against him, his body lessening its stiff posture. It was incredible to see.

            “I can’t believe you used a kiss against me,” Loki finally said, causing Thor to laugh.

            “I can’t believe it worked,” Thor replied, lifting a hand, trailing it lightly through Loki’s jet black hair.

            Loki snorted. “Of course, it worked, Thor. How could it not?”

            Before Thor could think much more about Loki’s words and the meaning behind them – it wasn’t often that Loki allowed something so significant and sincere to slip past his lips – the bell on the door jingled, indicating a new patron. Helblindi walked over to them, wearing a black shirt that was tight across the shoulders, revealing muscles that looked even bigger than they had before. Under his arm was a pink gift-bag stuffed with filling-paper. He raised his brows when he saw them, but grinned nonetheless.

            “Changed your mind, have you?” He asked rhetorically to Thor, his voice kind and light-hearted.

            “I tried talking him out of it,” Loki said, not taking his eyes from the binder. He was obviously taking the search for Thor’s future tattoo more seriously than Thor was which was amusing, seeing as how he was putting up a fuss about him getting one in the first place.

            “Well, you’re still here, so I’m assuming it hasn’t worked yet.”

            “How astute of you,” Loki said. Watching them banter was amusing, and Thor found himself relaxing into the leather cushions of the sofa as they went back and forth. When Loki looked up, though, he saw how his brows furrowed when he caught sight of the pink gift-bag. “What’s that? The party’s not until next weekend …”

            Thor cocked his head to the side, confusion filling him, because he did not remember Loki saying anything about what looked to be a birthday-party of some kind. But Helblindi looked guilty and shrugged his shoulders. “Unavoidable shift,” Was all he said, and Thor turned his head to look at Loki, seeing annoyance flash across his face before his gaze simmered to disappointment. He merely nodded his head.

            “I’ll grab a guy and we’ll get this party started then,” Helblindi said, placing the pink gift-bag by the sofa near Loki’s feet. Without another word, he turned and left, Thor watching until he was gone and out of sight.

            “What was that about?” He asked, unsure if he would even get an answer out of Loki. If he hadn’t said anything about it before, why would he now? “Pink’s not your colour, so I know that’s not for you. Who is it for?”

            Loki looked up from where he was still staring down at the binder, his emerald green eyes softening. Thor found it interesting how someone as enigmatic as Loki could be so expressive at the same time. Seeing one emotion pass and another settle into place was a spectacular sight to behold. “I’ll tell you later,” He finally said before nudging him with his shoulder, motioning to the binder on his lap. “Now do you want a tattoo or not? You have yet to point out any that you like.”

            “How about that one,” Thor said pointing to the first one that caught his eye on the page that Loki was at. The tattoo that he pointed to was a combination of a sun and a moon, a soothing orange glow that eased into a tranquil violet. It wasn’t dark and it certainly wasn’t vibrant in colour. It was relaxing and Thor liked it.

            Loki didn’t look convinced. “You fucker, you just saw it!”

            “It’s nice, you asshole!” Thor said in return, pushing Loki away from him and standing up from the sofa, though there was no heat in his words. He snatched the binder from his hands and pulled it up closer to his face, taking a closer look at the tattoo. There were faces on the sun and on the moon, the eyes and mouth long and hollow, making them appear ancient. But the way they moulded together made them seem as though they had always fit perfectly together.

            “The Chinese symbols a few rows down are also nice. Why not get those?” Loki asked blandly.

            “There’s nothing symbolic about those,” Thor found himself saying, and he suddenly swallowed, because he just then realised why he liked the tattoo. It made his face heat up and he felt as though he was much taller and much larger than he actually was. He had no idea what to do with himself and Loki was just sitting there, staring up at him, not having a clue what was going on in his head, what he was thinking –

            “And there’s something symbolic about the tattoo that you chose just two seconds ago?”

            “Maybe …” Thor mumbled, glancing up and catching Loki’s eyes, and he sighed and looked away, because he was doing that annoying thing where he was feeling everything so damn hard and way too fast, and it was frustrating as hell, because the last thing he wanted was to screw anything up between them. It had been going so well and he was so happy when he was with Loki –

            “Hey,” Loki said, pulling him from his thoughts. He was on his feet, his hands running up Thor’s arms, pulling the binder from his hands and tossing it back onto the sofa before stepping forward. Only when Loki placed his hands on his chest did he realise his heart was pounding. God, he was a mess. “You’re doing that thing where you’re thinking way too hard about something,” Leaning forward just slightly, Loki nuzzled his nose against Thor’s. “What is it?”

            “I –” Thor swallowed thickly, unsure of where to place his hands. He was suddenly so unsure about everything that was happening around him. “I think you might be the moon in my tattoo …” Saying it aloud made him feel absolutely foolish. He was so stupid.

            “Does that make you the sun?” Loki asked and, when Thor nodded his head, Loki grinned. “It makes sense. I’m white as a ghost and your skin is just too fucking perfect –”

            “Loki, I’m serious.”

            “I know you are. You’re being _too_ serious,” His voice was soft and light, though firm. Thor’s breath caught in his throat when Loki cupped the side of his face and leaned in, pressing his lips gently against Thor’s. He leaned into Thor, and Thor found himself wrapping his arms around Loki, pulling him even closer to him, his warmth and weight a comforting presence. “Just breathe,” Loki said when they broke apart, though he made no attempt of backing away, which Thor was infinitely grateful for. “Stop thinking, stop predicting. Let’s put that tattoo on you and start preparing for the pity-party that you’ll be having for yourself in a week or two.”

            Thor found himself laughing at that, the weight on his shoulders suddenly lessening, because he wasn’t alone. It was strange, but it was such a relief knowing that Loki was there, that he wasn’t going to leave him to suffer or over-react or over-rationalise. Loki was the balance that he needed to keep him level. They parted and Thor reached down, grabbing the binder and putting it under his arm before grabbing the pink gift-bag and handing it to Loki. He took Loki’s hand, their fingers curling around each other as they walked towards the back of the tattoo-parlour.

            “You think I’ll regret it in a week?” Thor asked, glancing over at Loki.

            “Oh, I think you’ll regret it a lot sooner. I was just trying to be generous,” Loki looked up and smiled, and Thor couldn’t help himself from laughing all over again.

-x- -x- -x-

            It had been eight days, in fact, since he had gotten the tattoo, and Thor was pleased to say that he had yet to find any part of himself that regretted getting it. The soothing orange glow from the sun and the tranquil violet from the moon blended perfectly with his tanned skin, and Thor smiled to himself as he pushed his sleeve down, shielding the tattoo from view. He had been smart enough to at least place the tattoo on his arm high enough to where it could easily be concealed – the last thing he wanted was his parents finding out and throwing a fit. This was his decision and he was happy with the outcome. It was his body, after all, and he had the right to do what he wanted with it. His mother and father might think they could control every aspect of his life, but they couldn’t control what he did with his body.

            Emerging from the bathroom, Thor yawned to himself and, instead of heading directly to his room, he slowly moving down the hallway, tying his wet hair up into a messy bun before going down the stairs and padding into the kitchen. It was close to midnight and his parents were asleep. He should probably get to sleep, too – he was tired, after all – but he didn’t feel right. Thor had come to the conclusion that he was probably clingy to Loki in some ways, but the idea of going to bed without hearing a single word from him all day … it just didn’t sit well with him at all. So a soda was definitely in order. Caffeine in his system would at least keep him up for another hour or so before he crashed.

            Pouring the Coke into a glass, Thor tossed the can in the trash-bin before making his way back up to his room. Thor closed his door and made his way back to his desk, sitting down in his chair, waking his laptop up. The first thing he did was check his mail. When either he or Loki were busy, they’d either text or mail each other and, since he hadn’t received a text, checking mail was the next step – only there was no mail from Loki. Pursing his lips, Thor took a large gulp of the Coke and tried not to think too much of what that meant. Where in the hell was he?

            The paranoid part of him immediately thought back to what happened since he’d gotten the tattoo. Nothing new had changed. They had met every single day since, if only for a few hours. Thor couldn’t re-call saying anything to upset Loki, couldn’t re-call doing anything that would make Loki nervous or uncomfortable with the flow of their relationship. Of course, that was something else that Thor was trying really hard not to think about. Over-thinking meant over-rationalising, and the last thing he wanted to do was push and over-step his place in their relationship. They were taking things slow and, so far, it had worked out well for them. Thor wasn’t going to do anything to screw that up. With that in mind, Thor powered down his laptop. There was a logical reason for why Loki didn’t send him any mail, a logical reason for why he didn’t send Thor a text. His life didn’t revolve around their relationship, he still had his freedom, and the last thing Thor was going to do was turn into a clingy boyfriend. He wasn’t going to demand to know what he was doing every second of every day. So he gulped down the rest of his Coke, quietly went back down to put the glass in the sink, and – when he got back up to his room and closed the door – he froze, because sitting on the limb of the tree outside his bedroom window was Loki.

            It wasn’t the first time that he had seen Loki on that limb – the first time had been when they had shared their first kiss – but seeing Loki up there was still such a huge shock, he couldn’t find it in himself to move, his brain unable to send a message to his legs to move to the damn window. Of course, it came like a slap to the face when Loki leaned over to the window, as though he could pry it open from the outside, his hands shaking just slightly, and then Thor found himself almost running over, forcing the window up, his arms immediately wrapping around Loki’s waist.

            “What in the hell were you thinking?” Thor hissed, being mindful to keep his voice down, despite how frantic his heart was beating. The last thing he wanted was his parents hearing him and coming in to investigate. Setting Loki on the window-sill, Thor took a deep breath and looked him over. He was wearing dark jeans and a black shirt – probably to blend into the darkness in case his neighbours were looking out the window at this late hour. But what caught his attention was the expression on Loki’s face, because Loki did _not_ look well. For the second time in the span of a minute, he felt his body stilling, alarm consuming him, because _what was the matter?_ “What’s wrong?”

            “Nothing,” The response came immediately, but Thor wasn’t a fool. Underneath the eye roll and the _look_ Loki shot him, he could see how he was practically thrumming with energy, his body shaking and –

            “Is that a bruise?” Thor demanded suddenly, grabbing Loki’s forearm and lifting his arm up, shock and horror and anger and disgust and nausea all rolled up into a tight ball in the pit of his stomach, because yeah, that was a fucking hand-print wrapped around his bony wrist. “Loki –”

            “Thor, just leave it alone,” Loki said, his voice soft, but firm, leaving no room for argument, which sent a shock-wave right through Thor, because how in the hell could he?

            “Who did this and how in the hell do you expect me to just let this go?”

            “He doesn’t fucking matter and because I asked you to.”

            “Loki –”

            “I’ll tell you later,” Loki interrupted him, and it took everything in Thor’s power to keep himself from arguing back, because this was serious. He had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do, had no idea what the hell was even going on, but he _did_ know that someone had hurt him, and he wanted to know who and why and where to find him, so he could beat the shit out of him. But he had to trust that Loki would tell him when he was ready. He had to trust that …

            “Promise me that you will later,” He said instead, his voice hard, but resolute. He stepped closer, his arms wrapping around Loki’s shoulders, keeping him close, because he was still shaking slightly.

            “I promise,” Loki said, resting his chin on Thor’s shoulder. “But that’s not the reason why I came here,” When Thor raised an eyebrow at him, Loki continued. “Do you have plans this Saturday?”

            “No.”

            “Would you like to come to a birthday-party with me?”

            Thor’s brows furrowed even more, and he pulled himself away just slightly so that he could get a better look at Loki. “What?”

            Loki snorted. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

-x- -x- -x-

            Loki wasn’t normal. That was one of the things that had drawn him to Thor in the first place. He was enigmatic and quiet and mysterious – though that was a bit too dramatic of a word to use – and intelligent and different. Thor loved all of that about him, because he was just so … he was just … God, he didn’t even know. But he was exciting. And he was encouraging and smart and he had helped Thor more than anyone had in such a long time.

            But sometimes … sometimes Thor had no idea what the hell was going through the man’s head. He did _not_ like being kept in the dark about that bruise. It looked horrible last night, but walking in broad daylight, the sun bearing down on them … it looked even worse. It was black and blue and even darker around his protruding bones. But Loki hadn’t looked as though he was in any discomfort at all, hadn’t said a word about it, which frustrated Thor even more, because he knew that he was affected by it in some way. He had been shaking and hadn’t left until almost three in the morning, and in the three hours he was with Thor, he hadn’t let him go, was always touching him in some way. But he hadn’t said a damn word, had only changed the subject and invited him to a birthday-party, and where in the hell had that even come from?

            But Thor found himself walking down a dingy looking sidewalk with Loki on his left, their shoulders brushing together. They hadn’t said much and that was fine – they didn’t have to say anything to each other, because both were comfortable enough in each other’s presence to allow the silence. Or perhaps Loki was aware of Thor’s conflicting thoughts and was choosing not to say anything. Either way, the silence was a welcoming one – or it was until Thor’s curiosity got the best of him.

            “So where are you taking me exactly?”

            “The elementary school,” Loki replied, nodding his head to a building that had weeds and over-grown vines running up the sides of the brick.

            Thor smirked and opened his mouth to ask if Loki was joking, but felt the quirk of his lips fade when he noticed kids running around. He hadn’t noticed at first due to the grass. It hadn’t been cut for some time, and Thor had to stand on the tips of his toes to see past the vines that were growing over the fence. It was rare that he ever came this way, but every time that he did, Thor had thought that the place was abandoned –

            “Thor,” Loki said, pulling him from his thoughts. He felt his cheeks colour slightly, and he prayed that Loki didn’t see the saddened look on his face, because he knew that Loki had it hard, but he had no idea that it was _that_ bad – “Look.”

            Turning his gaze in the direction that Loki was pointing, Thor found his sparkling blue eyes fastening onto two figures at the end of the fence. There was an elderly woman with greying hair holding the hand of a small child with a pink backpack, but Thor wasn’t paying attention to woman – no, he was paying attention to the child, because the child had long jet black hair that looked exactly like –

            “Loki!” The little girl screeched. The elderly woman let go of her hand and the girl was off, running towards Loki, who stepped away from Thor’s side and walked forward, crouching down and scooping the girl up. Thor didn’t move. He felt like a fool with his mouth slightly agape, but he couldn’t help himself. She looked just like him.

            “Thor,” His mouth snapped shut at the sound of Loki’s voice, and he stepped forward, coming to Loki’s side, his gaze switching between him and the little girl.

            “Hi,” She said, waving shyly before shielding her face in the crook of Loki’s neck.

            Loki smiled, though his gaze was locked on Thor. “This is my sister, Agatha.”


	3. I Think I'm Doing Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a positive and a negative. Positive – Thor and Loki’s relationship is still going great. Negative – Thor realises that there are some things you can’t escape from. While dealing with his own problems, Thor begins to see that maybe he’s not the only one with secrets.

            “Agatha!” Sif exclaimed when Thor, Loki, and the little girl walked through the doors of the diner. Besides a few couples scattered throughout the diner, the place was relatively empty, which allowed Sif to hurry around the counter she was behind and crouch down. Thor watched as Agatha – Loki’s _sister_ – ran over with a huge smile on her face. “What a beautiful girl you are. Did you have a good day at school?”

            “Yeah,” Agatha said, her small hand reaching over to take Sif’s offering one. Thor couldn’t help but notice how she looked over at Loki, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Loki nodding his head. “Can I have juice, please?”

            “Of course, you can,” Sif replied, standing up. “Let’s go get you one,” Thor watched her walk a few steps before she seemed to remember that Agatha did not come alone. “Sit wherever you like. I’ll be there in a moment.”

            Thor was already moving towards a booth that was in the corner of the diner, away from the other patrons. He slid into the seat and let out a deep breath, trying to come to terms with why he was feeling so … off. It wasn’t betrayal. That was too cruel of a term, too harsh, but he felt weird, out of the loop. Add to the fact that Sif obviously already knew about Agatha and never once mentioned her …? One emotion that he was quite clear on was annoyance. Why didn’t Loki tell him? Why did Loki think it was better to keep his sister a secret from him? Honestly, he was probably just over-thinking everything and making a fool out of himself by acting like a child right now, but … _why_?

            And then, as though he was struck across the face, Thor remembered a time many months ago when he and Loki were sitting in the diner before they had even announced their feelings for each other, when Loki was even more of a mystery that he was now. It had been right after Thor discovered that Loki worked here and he’d asked if Loki had any other jobs. Loki had snapped and had gotten defensive, had said that Thor had no idea what it was like to –

            “Thor?” Loki called out, snapping him back into the present. Only then did he realise that he had been staring hard at the table, and his sparkling blue eyes immediately turned up to meet emerald greens. He looked calm and patient and, despite how frustrated and annoyed he was feeling at always being the last to know about things, about being kept in the dark, Thor felt himself relaxing the longer he stared at Loki, because if Loki was open then Thor was sure to get answers. “Are you all right?”

            “She’s the one you provide for,” Right away, he could tell that he might have definitely over-stepped some lines. Loki, who had just sunk down in the seat across from Thor, immediately tensed up, gaze turning steely as he stared hard at Thor. He wondered for a brief moment if perhaps Loki would get back up and leave like he did the last time this subject was broached. It had been months ago, when they were just starting to prod at their interest, but even after so many months, Thor felt a spasm of fear run right through him, because he didn’t want to see Loki walk away like that again. He could feel his heart already starting to pound in apprehension.

            After almost a minute of absolute silence – Loki was barely even moving – Loki let out a controlled breath, as though the act had taken a great deal of effort. “Yes,” He answered, putting his hands on the table in front of him. “I work two jobs to help provide for her and my mother.”

            “And your father …?”

            “My father can fuck himself with a knife in the darkest pit of hell for all I care,” Loki said without a second’s hesitation, and Thor’s mouth immediately snapped closed. Loki’s expression hadn’t even shifted, as though his apparent hatred for his father was something as common as the weather. “My family is broke, Thor. I hardly see my mother, because she’s working as many shifts as she possibly can at a shitty little nursing home in a part of town that you’ve probably never stepped foot in, that you’ve probably never knew existed. I work two jobs to help keep a roof over our heads, to help make things a bit more comfortable and a little less stressful. When I’m not with Agatha, I’m with you, and when I’m not with her, Sif is with her. We don’t have much, but we take what we can get.”

            Head spinning, Thor leaned back against the cheap, sticky upholstery of the booth they were sitting in, unsure of what to say. So he said nothing. He knew from the very beginning that Loki’s life was hard. Their upbringing was completely different – polar opposites, in fact – but hearing what he’d been through, what he and his family were _still_ going through … Thor felt a pang of sadness, causing him to drop his gaze down to the table. The last thing he wanted to do was pity Loki.

            As if reading his mind, Loki leaned forward in his seat, the movement having Thor’s gaze snap back up to him. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. There’s a reason why I never told you. I don’t need or want your pity, and if you can’t handle it –”

            “Loki, shut up,” Thor found himself saying, the words coming out of his mouth before he was even aware of the fact that he had been thinking them. But they were out and he had no way of taking them back – not that he even wanted to. Right away he could see the look on Loki’s face, the grave, closed-off, defensive expression that caused shadows to cross his face, making him seem colder than what he actually was. And after spending months chipping away Loki’s protective armour, it was disconcerting and almost terrifying to see those pieces re-forming and fitting back together again. Thor could feel his heart starting to pound in his chest. “If I have to tell you again how little I care about your financial background, I’m going to punch you in the fucking face.”

            “Then why are you so annoyed?” Loki hissed, leaning forward even more, emerald green eyes flashing wildly.

            “I’m not annoyed, I’m just …” Thor shrugged helplessly. “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me you had a little sister. We’ve been together for how many months and you couldn’t tell me? You know almost everything about me. I thought there was more trust between us than that.”

            “I trust you.”

            “Then why didn’t you tell me?”

            “Why are you pushing this? Why is this suddenly an issue? What does that change about our relationship now that you know I have a little sister?” Loki demanded, his cheeks colouring pink, a clear indication that he was getting frustrated. And that right there caused Thor’s temper to rise, as well, because why wasn’t he _getting_ it?

            “Are you one of those people who only spills their secrets when it conveniences them? Because if that’s the case then we need to start talking about our relationship, because that’s not going to work with me,” Thor crossed his arms. He was aware of the fact that it was a defensive posture, but he didn’t care. It was either that or clenching his hands into fists and that might come off as too aggressive. And then a thought came to mind. “You won’t even tell me about the fucking bruise on your wrist. Someone put it there, because it still looks like a hand-print.”

            Thor could see the tightness of Loki’s body, could see how clenched his jaw was. His eyes were shining brightly, staring at Thor with a look that was so hard … it was like their first few weeks, when he was trying to figure out how Loki worked, how he ticked. Right off the bat, he had known that Loki was different, that he thought so unlike everyone else. Even now, after months of being together, Thor still felt like he was trying to work out the puzzle that was Loki Laufeyson.

            When Loki didn’t say anything, when all he did was glare at him with those impossibly deep emerald green eyes, Thor sighed and slumped down in his seat, the fight and anger suddenly deflating from his body. He hated fighting. He was never one for confrontation, despite how hot-headed he tended to be sometimes. “I’m not saying I need to know your whole life story. I’m just saying I’m your boyfriend – I’d like to not be the last to know all the time. You can trust me to not hurt you.”

            “I _do_ trust you,” Loki said, his voice soft.

            “Okay,” Thor replied, nodding his head, hoping that it sounded encouraging, as well as conclusive, because while he was kind of annoyed and frustrated, he also didn’t want to completely ruin the day. Loki had taken him along to pick up his sister, so that had to account for something, right? It meant that he was opening up to him in his own way. Turning his head towards the counter, Thor saw Sif walking out with Agatha. Her face was just as pale as Loki’s was, causing her green eyes to stand out all the more. “She looks just like you.”

            Thor heard Loki hum. “If only she was as open to studying as I am. It’s a bitch getting her to work on maths.”

            “She seems like she’s a smart girl.”

            “Oh, she is. She just doesn’t want to sit still while I’m trying to teach her more advanced things,” At that, Thor turned his head back around, raising his brows in silent question, causing Loki to give Thor a knowing look. “There’s only so much we can do for her financially. The more she knows the better off she’ll be in the future in whatever profession she chooses to go in. At least she’ll have the education.”

            “That’s … very smart,” Thor said, nodding his head. He hadn’t even thought about that. Of course, he should have known. Every single test and quiz that Loki had ever gotten back, he’d passed with flying colours, so of course, he’d try to share the knowledge onto his sister.

            “Here we are,” Thor turned his head at the sound of Sif’s voice, looking just in time to see Agatha climbing into the booth and getting comfortable in the seat next to Loki. “Sorry about that. I went ahead and put some mozzarella sticks in the oven, too.”

            “Oh? You only pull those out on special occasions,” Loki replied, lips curling up into a grin, gaze turning down to his sister, who started smiling grandly.

            “Well, go on and tell them, Agatha!” Sif exclaimed, and Thor couldn’t help but chuckle some. He’d never seen Sif look so excited and it was all because of the little girl with the pink backpack.

            “I made a good mark on my spelling test and – and I even ran as fast as the other boys in my class while we were playing outside!” Agatha exclaimed, talking so quickly and so animatedly that she was tripping over her words some.

            “Very good, Agatha,” Loki said, his smile growing all the more. Thor watched as Loki ran his hand up and down his sister’s back, a look of pride in his eyes. “This definitely calls for celebration.”

            “Yes!” Agatha hooted, shooting her tiny fist in the air. Thor laughed, causing the little girl’s eyes to fall on him. Her cheeks flushed some, suddenly realising that all of the attention was on her, but her excitement seemed to out-weigh her shyness, because her eyes widened and she leaned forward on her elbows. Humouring her, Thor leaned forward, as well. “My birthday is Saturday!”

            “Oh, really …?” Thor asked, feigning surprise. He widened his eyes and made a little gasping noise, as though what she was telling him was hugely extravagant. His re-action caused her to bounce on the seat some before Loki chided her, but she paid him no mind – her entire focus was on Thor. “How old are you going to be turning?”

            “Six!”

            “Six?” Thor widened his eyes all the more. “That is a big number. Can you even count that high?”

            “Of course, I can!” She said and proceeded to do so with a grin on her face. Thor couldn’t help himself – he laughed.

            “Well done.”

            “Agatha, sit down now,” Loki said, pulling her gently down. Thor turned his head in time to see Sif coming back with a basket full of mozzarella sticks. After setting down three plates – and after cooing Agatha a little more, since it was obvious Sif was crazy about her – Sif left, and Thor passed the plates out. “And be careful with these. They just came out of the oven and are hot.”

            “Okay, okay,” Agatha said, her attention turning back to Thor. Her eyes were the exact shade of emerald green as Loki’s. It was fascinating. “I’m having a birthday-party, you know.”

            “That actually sounds like a lot of fun,” Thor replied, reaching over and plucking a mozzarella stick from the basket. They didn’t feel extremely hot, which made Thor wonder if Sif left them sitting for a few minutes, knowing that Agatha would probably try to grab them the second she set them down on the table. He glanced at Loki and nodded his head, letting him know that they were fine to touch. He watched as Loki nodded back in return before grabbing the basket and holding it out for Agatha to take what she wanted. Like predicted she reached in and immediately grabbed one, regardless of the warning that Loki had given her just a moment before. Thor held back the chuckle that wanted to come out at the look Loki sent him.

            “You should come! I’m going to have cake and presents and there’ll be turtles and ice-cream!”

            “Agatha loves turtles, so the party will be turtle-themed,” Loki explained.

            Thor smiled and leaned in, sparkling blue eyes twinkling. “How can I possibly say no to turtles?”

            The look that Agatha gave him was huge, causing Thor to feel light, but it was nothing in comparison to the look that Loki gave him when he turned his attention over to him. Thor felt his breath catch, his heart pounding just a little bit faster, because the expressions flickering across Loki’s face – ranging from adoration to gratification – spoke so many volumes.

-x- -x- -x-

            _‘I’m never eating mozzarella sticks again.’_

            Clicking away from the sports page he was on at the sound of the chime, Thor snorted when he read Loki’s message. It was close to six and he should probably go down and get something to eat – he was definitely getting hungry – but Thor couldn’t seem to want to move from where he was at his desk. _‘And why is that exactly?’_

_‘I have to work and I’m dying of stomach pains. We should have said no when Aggie wanted more. Why didn’t you say no?’_

            Thor laughed. The afternoon had been fun. He’d previously been worried and over-thinking everything as usual, but honestly … after he and Loki talked … he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Perhaps it was because they were sorting through things. Or perhaps it was because Thor felt as though they were getting closer instead of pulling away. Young couples wanted to have fun and shied away from problems, but they were confronting them and working through them. Maybe that made Thor corny and sappy and a fucking romantic, but he couldn’t knock the smile from his face.

            _‘I didn’t know I had the power to do so,’_ Thor typed. _‘Next time we get mozzarella sticks, we’ll make it clear that we’re only getting one basket. Does that make you feel better?’_

_‘What would make me feel better is if you rubbed my stomach, but I have to go to Hell for a few hours.’_

            It was hard to gage emotions on-line, but Thor could feel his good mood slipping some. _‘I wish you could come here instead – or if I could go over there.’_

_‘I’ll come over whenever you like. Just let me know. But now I have to go before I’m late. I’ll never hear the end of it. I’ll text you later – goodbye, Thor.’_

            Thor sighed and leaned back in his seat. It would be so much easier to help Loki if he knew what he was doing when he left for his second job. But that was something that Loki wasn’t ready to divulge just yet and, no matter how frustrating it was to have to wait, Thor would simply have to. Standing, Thor put his computer to sleep and made his way out of the room, grabbing his mobile before closing the door – just in case.

-x- -x- -x-

            It was around eleven o’clock in the morning when Thor finally decided to roll himself out of bed. It was uncharacteristic of him to wake up so late, but the coolness of the overhead fan from the ceiling and the warmth of the sheets wrapped around his body prevented him from even considering getting out of bed. Only when he felt his muscles starting to ache and stiffen did he finally roll out of bed, trudging tiredly to the bathroom where he took a warm shower to loosen his body. He felt more awake when he made his way downstairs thirty minutes later, wearing loose-fitting jeans and a faded red shirt, his wet hair dripping from the messy bun he put it in. He briefly wondered if he should get it cut – it was summer, after all, the heat causing his hair to stick to the back of his neck in sweaty strings – but then he remembered the feel of Loki’s fingers running through the blonde strands, how the sensation alone could cause his heart-rate to accelerate faster than any roller-coaster ever could, and immediately decided against it.

            Moving into the kitchen, Thor glanced around before moving to the fridge, pulling it open, and grabbing the pitcher of purified water and a glass from the cabinet. After pouring himself a glass, he took a generous gulp, the water going down his throat smoothly, refreshing him after his warm shower. Placing his hand to the back pocket of his jeans, Thor realised that he hadn’t returned to his room after his shower to grab his mobile. Only then did he feel a bit of apprehension move throughout his body, causing anxiety to fill him. After their brief conversation last night, Loki had left for his second job – a job that Thor had no idea where or what he did. All he knew was that Loki hated it. Pursing his lips, Thor leaned against the counter, remembering the bruise he had seen on Loki’s wrist just the other night. And where the hell had that come from? Had that come from the second job? It was true that Thor had absolutely no idea what Loki did after he left, but now that he knew that Loki had a little sister, he had a feeling that he didn’t do much else besides hanging out with him and working, which meant … what?

            Thor pushed himself off the counter and made his way out of the kitchen, intent on going back to his room and getting his mobile. He’d feel more comfortable after he got a hold of Loki and spoke to the man himself, after he knew that he was all right. He would like to think that he could tell the difference from Loki’s tone if something was wrong or not, but Thor knew that there was still a lot of Loki that was still shrouded in mystery.

            It was only as he was passing a table against the staircase that he happened to glance down by chance and see something that caused him to stop abruptly, his brows furrowing in confusion, as well as alarm. Looking up and down the hallway – he had absolutely no idea where his parents were at and the last thing he wanted was for his mother or father to sneak up on him while he was investigating – Thor picked up an envelope that had the insignia of Stark Industries in the upper left-hand corner. It was addressed to Odin, but Thor wasn’t a fool. The feeling in his gut only intensified when he felt how thick the envelope was. Without thinking, Thor immediately tore into it, pulling out the bundle of papers. Unfolding it, he stared down at them, heart pounding against his rib-cage –

            – And then he was running up the stairs, tearing down the hallway, and bursting right into his father’s office. He had no idea if he was even in there or not, didn’t care, but Thor threw the door open, the knob banging harshly against the wall. Odin, who was sitting behind his desk, looked up from what he was doing, his brows raising. Thor saw that he didn’t look angry or surprised to see him standing there, panting and holding the envelope and papers in hand. If anything, he looked …

            “You knew I would find this,” Thor – incredulous – found himself saying. It wasn’t the first thing that had come to mind, but it was the only thing that passed through his lips when he opened his mouth.

            “I do believe it’s against the law to look through mail that doesn’t belong to you,” Odin merely said, looking down at whatever it was that he was reading. Thor gaped at him, opening and closing his mouth to say something back at his father, but the words escaped him. All he could do was clench his fist more tightly around the papers he was holding. “Read over everything, fill out the necessary paperwork, and have it ready to be mailed out in the morning.”

            “What?” Thor blurted.

            He watched as Odin sighed in annoyance and looked back up at him, the first emotion that he’d expressed since Thor had barged into his office. “What don’t you understand? What’s so hard to get? You put your foot down and think that you word is law?” Odin huffed in amusement and Thor felt his cheeks flush. Whatever bravado he had going into Odin’s office was slowly fizzling out, leaving him feeling pathetic and foolish. “You’re not stupid, so don’t act like it. You’ve expressed your feelings on the matter and your mother and I have allowed you time to do whatever you want, but now you’re going to get back to work.”

            Thor blanched, blinking at Odin as though he had no idea what it was that he was saying. The way his father was speaking to him, as though he was nothing but a business transaction … “No … no, I’ve told you that –”

            “Let me make something very clear to you, boy, since you obviously don’t understand your place. You are _my_ son and you will do what _I_ say. And, right now, I am _telling_ you that you are going to fill that out and send that back to Stark Industries tomorrow. You are going to get accepted into their internship programme, because they are already interested in you – don’t worry, I’ve put in a good word for you – and you are going to spend the rest of the summer in New York working for Howard Stark. And if you fight me then I will drag you there myself,” Thor wasn’t breathing by the time Odin paused. His gaze was piercing and Thor wanted nothing more than to shrink back from it, but he couldn’t move, his entire body frozen. His heart was pounding so loudly, he wondered if his father could hear it. If he did, he wasn’t showing it. “Now come here, sit down, and fill those forms out. I don’t trust you to not throw them out the second you leave this office.”

            There was a moment where absolutely nothing happened. Odin was staring hard at Thor and Thor couldn’t even breathe. He wanted to curse and lash out at his father, wanted to turn around and run right out of the house, slam the door shut, and never return, because it was obvious that his parents didn’t give a damn about him. They only seemed to care when it benefited them.

            He remembered something that Loki had said to him in the diner: _It means I think your parents, in their own way, actually do have your best interests at heart._ He had no idea why the thought came to mind, but he realised right then how wrong Loki had been. The thought stung.

            Before he knew it, Thor found himself slowly moving towards the desk, his entire body trembling with anger or fear – he didn’t know. There were so many emotions slamming into him, he honestly didn’t know what he was feeling. He sat heavily in the chair across the desk and set the creased papers down. He couldn’t even look at his father, couldn’t bear to see the satisfied look on his face.

            “Fill them out and then you can leave,” Odin only said, and Thor watched as a pen was slid over to him.

            Mechanically, Thor picked up the pen and uncapped it. “I hate you.”

            “I remember saying the same thing to my father once. He told me I’d thank him when I was sitting on the throne of my own kingdom. He was right. And I am right now. You may not like it, but you will. And you will thank me as I thanked my own father. Now start writing.”

            And Thor did.


	4. And This is the Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a positive and a negative. Positive – Thor and Loki’s relationship is still going great. Negative – Thor realises that there are some things you can’t escape from. While dealing with his own problems, Thor begins to see that maybe he’s not the only one with secrets.

            Sitting against the window-sill with his knees pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs, Thor leaned his head back. The pulsing in his head had yet to subside, and neither did the urge to clench his fists together and slam them against the possessions in his room. It had been roughly fourteen hours since his … _confrontation_ … with Odin, and Thor still didn’t know what to make of it, still didn’t know where exactly he went wrong, what he could have done or said to make things go in a different direction. He felt shame and humiliation among other meagre emotions that were filtering through him, causing havoc in his head. He felt angry that his voice wasn’t being heard and desperate that he couldn’t get out of the choices that his parents were making for him.

            _No_ was such a complicated word – difficult to say, but even harder to grasp and comprehend.

            Thor didn’t even re-act when his mobile vibrated in his lap. It hadn’t been the first time that it went off all day and, at two in the morning, it had yet to stop, but Thor couldn’t even summon the courage to open the messages that were sure to have been from Loki. Perhaps he was asking about Agatha’s birthday-party, if he was going to bring anything. Perhaps he was questioning what he was going to wear or where they were going to meet. Thor didn’t know and, at the moment, he didn’t care, because while a part of him truly wanted to open those messages and talk to Loki, the other part was disappointed. Loki … he had been the beacon that Thor needed to guide him through the endless storm his parents were to him. Loki had been the anchor he needed to encourage and motivate him to keep going, to not give up on the things that he wanted. And Thor believed him so much, but now … now he was a child realising that it was all for not. Wishful thinking and hoping got you absolutely nowhere.

            His chest felt heavy and his throat felt as though it was constricted and Thor just wanted it to stop. Time was moving back to how it was before he met Loki, before he got a glimpse of what it could have been like to make up his mind and do what he wanted – suffocating and claustrophobic and too overpowering for him to even think of facing on his own. So why even bother fighting?

            Pulling his head away from the side of the wall, Thor let it fall back against it, the soft bang enough to reverberate around the ache, causing him to groan. Grabbing his mobile from his lap, he tapped through his messages. He had five from Loki – the rest he didn’t care about. Despite his previous inclinations towards Loki, despite his slight resentment, Thor latched onto those messages and quickly opened them, reading each slowly.

            _‘As her last day of being five, Agatha is adamant about helping to put up her own decorations. Please help. She’s worse than my mother about harassing me.’_

_‘If I see another fucking smiling turtle, I’m going to punch it in its face so hard, it’ll shoot out the other end.’_

_‘My sister is a hippie. I put on nature sounds and she fell asleep. I’m horrible enough to use this against her at a later time if need be.’_

_‘Okay, you’re usually very quick about replying to me and I’m the fucker who takes forever. I can practically feel your anxiety brewing. Are you all right?’_

_‘Thor?’_

            He could do this. He could work around this slip, push his concerns and fears down and at least try to pretend that everything was okay. It was helping already some. Just the thought of Agatha had his heart slowing just slightly. She was such a sweet girl with long jet black hair and eyes that were the exact shade of emerald green as Loki’s. And Loki … he smelled like winter and lingering cigarette smoke, and it was comforting and familiar and yeah … maybe he could do this. Loki might have been wrong, but he was still Loki and Loki was puzzling and reclusive and the whole reason why Thor opened his eyes four months ago. God, he made no sense, even in his own mind.

            Dropping his legs down until they were planted on the floor, his back to the window, Thor hit the REPLY button and hovered over the keys, trying to figure out exactly what he was going to say. _‘I’m here.’_ Fuck, like Loki wouldn’t feel any less worried. Cursing under his breath, Thor ran a hand through his tangled blonde hair and let out a ragged exhalation.

            He startled when the reply came back just a few seconds later. He didn’t even need to look at the name to know that it was Loki. _‘Are you?’_ Thor huffed tiredly, closing his eyes, and allowing a weary smile to tug at the corners of his lips. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Loki was asking that question – Loki was very perceptive. Then again, his lack of replies all day and then his shady ‘I’m here’ was an obvious indicator that he was, in fact, _not_. Still, Loki was great to talk to, and perhaps it would be beneficial for him if he were to talk through it all.

            _‘Today hasn’t been the best of days. I had a very demoralising conversation with my father – one that had me feeling like shit and wanting to throw myself from the nearest building.’_

            Maybe that was too dramatic. It was only meant to lighten the situation, but Thor doubted Loki would see it like that. His assumptions were correct when he felt his mobile vibrate, indicating another text. _‘Don’t be an asshole, Thor. What was the demoralising conversation about?’_

            He was halfway through typing out the message when Thor found that his fingers had suddenly stopped moving along the keyboard, his sparkling blue eyes staring at the words. Furrowing his brow, Thor leaned back and stared at the screen of his mobile, worry and apprehension filling him slowly. Did he … should Loki know? After all of the pep-talks and the encouraging words, what would Loki think of him when he found out that Thor filled out the registration forms for an internship with Stark Industries for the rest of the summer? He’d be annoyed for sure, frustrated with Odin and Frigga for being insufferable. But he’d also be disappointed in Thor for caving in, for giving up, and that was something that – at the current moment, at least – Thor couldn’t deal with. Loki was his rock, and the very idea of his rock shifting and moving away from him left an unpleasant feeling forming in the pit of his stomach, twisting and uncomfortable.

            Biting his bottom lip, Thor hit the BACKSPACE button and watched numbly as the words, letter by letter, disappeared. In the end, he decided on something simple and general, hoping that Loki wouldn’t give it too much thought, would just let it rest, because the pounding in his head had yet to cease, and the last thing Thor wanted to do was wrack his brain, trying to figure out what other evasive excuse to give to whatever query Loki threw his way. Only then did he realise just how exhausted he was. It was two-fifteen in the morning and all he wanted to do now was crawl into bed, slip into an unrestful sleep, and hope he didn’t look like hell in the morning.

            _‘What are the conversations_ usually _about? You know what my parents are like – I’ve told you all about them. I’m just having one of those days.’_

Thor held his breath and ran a hand through his tangled hair, hoping and praying that Loki wouldn’t question, wouldn’t think too much about it, wouldn’t notice how oblique and indirect he was trying to be about his answer. He thought his heart was going to burst through his rib-cage when his mobile vibrated once more. _‘With any luck, they’ll fall down the stairs.’_

Relief crashed into him like a tidal wave, making him laugh giddily for a moment before quickly typing out: _‘Look who’s being the asshole now.’_

_‘Yeah, yeah, sue me,’_ Loki’s reply said, causing Thor to smile. He could imagine that Loki was probably doing the same – or perhaps that was just him being sappy and romantic again. The tension was slow parting from his body, leaving him with shaky limbs and a pounding heart. _‘Go to bed, Thor. I’ll see you at the diner around eleven?’_

_‘That sounds good to me.’_

_‘Goodnight, Thor.’_

_‘Night, Loki.’_

            Placing his mobile on the window-sill, Thor slowly took in a deep breath before releasing it just as slowly. He could still feel the apprehension, the mild paranoia of what was going to happen _when_ the acceptance letter from Stark Industries came, what he was going to tell Loki, _how_ he was going to tell Loki, what he was going to even do about it … but he could breathe again. And it was easier to do than it was an hour ago, when he was alone and wallowing in his thoughts. He would leave it at that then.

            Standing up, Thor walked across the room to his bed and crawled under the sheets. For the moment, things were bearable. And now more than ever, he wanted the chance to disappear for a little while. With that thought in mind, Thor let out a sigh and closed his eyes, allowing his exhaustion to pull him under.

-x- -x- -x-

            Pulling his car into the diner’s parking lot, Thor turned the ignition off, and stepped out. The sun was bearing down on him and he was immediately glad that he had tied his hair into a bun before leaving the house, because he could already feel perspiration forming on his tanned skin. He could only imagine how Loki was feeling. The man was currently standing in the shade, a pair of sun-glasses on his face, arms crossed, with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. His lips were curled downwards into a snarl. Yeah, Loki wasn’t one for hot days.

            Grinning, Thor made his way into the shade and leaned against the wall beside Loki, angling his body to where he was facing him. “You look like a pissy cat. Would you look this way if you got wet?”

            “Suck my sweaty balls, you fuck,” Loki said, exhaling a puff of smoke. Thor laughed and watched as the tendrils of smoke wafted through the air before dissipating into nothing. He woke up feeling better. With a lingering feeling of unease still in the pit of his stomach, Thor was able to push it farther down for the time being. Today wasn’t about him, and the last thing he wanted was for Loki to catch wind of his anxiety – and he certainly didn’t want to ruin Agatha’s birthday-party. No, those thoughts and worries could wait for a later time. It was difficult at first, but now that he was with Loki … it felt more manageable. He could pull it off. He could do it.

            Loki bringing the cigarette to his lips and taking another drag brought him from his thoughts. He watched as Loki pulled in another lungful of nicotine before blowing it all out again, dropping the cigarette-butt on the ground. After stepping on it, Loki turned to Thor, having apparently noticed his staring. He’d really have to work on being a bit more inconspicuous. “Something interest you?”

            Without even thinking about what he was doing, Thor lifted a hand and threaded it through jet black hair before leaning in, pressing his lips against Loki’s. The second their lips touched, Thor felt his heart tighten, pounding so loudly, he was sure that it could be heard. But he didn’t pull away. If anything, he brought Loki closer towards him, revelling in the way Loki put his hands on his hips, his hands soft and cool against his warm flesh.

            When the kiss finally ended, Thor leaned his forehead against Loki’s. “Always,” He said in reply to Loki’s question. Thor realised that he was grinning like a fool, and he couldn’t find it in himself to care in the slightest. Looking at Loki, he could see how his thin lips spread into a smile, how his cheeks flushed, even from where they were standing in the shade.

            “You’re such a fucking sap,” Loki said, shaking his head, though his grip on Thor’s hips tightened. It made Thor feel great, made him feel light and _good_ , as opposed to the depressing despair he had been feeling lately. It was a wonderful change and it had Thor leaning in once more, pressing his lips against Loki’s, though the kiss was shorter this time.

            “You’re lucky I like you so much,” Thor said when he pulled away. “You’re such an ass.”

            “That I am,” Loki replied. Thor watched in interest as Loki ran his hands up his arms, his fingers grazing over his tanned skin. It took everything he had to not shiver at the feel. But all Loki did was slide up the sleeve of his shirt some, revealing the sun and the moon tattoo. “I’m glad you decided to get this. It looks good.”

            Thor shrugged slightly, unable to take his eyes off of the concentrated look on Loki’s face. “I had a bad influence,” The comment had Loki pushing away from Thor, punching him hard in the arm. Despite the force of the punch – Loki packed a punch, all right – he couldn’t help but laugh. “All right, all right, I’m sorry. Are you ready to go?”

            “Yeah,” Loki replied. They pulled apart – Thor wasn’t ashamed to say that he would have preferred to stay touching, but that was probably only because it had been a while since he held Loki, since he leaned into the crook of his neck and took in the faint smell of cigarette smoke that settled over his skin – and moved back towards the car. Thor grinned when Loki cursed loudly. He definitely wasn’t a fan of the heat.

            “How far are we from your house?” Thor asked, pulling Loki’s attention away from the humidity of the inside of his car. With the windows rolled down and the air-conditioner on full blast, once Loki was satisfied and looking less like a rumpled, frizzy cat, he backed out from his parking spot and pulled out of the diner.

            With his sunglasses perched on top of his head, Loki was making himself quite comfortable in the front seat. If Thor wasn’t such a careful driver, he would have been quite distracted by the way Loki’s long legs were spread, by how they seemed to go for miles. “We’re only ten minutes away. Take a right at the next stop-sign.”

            The rest of the drive was mostly in silence, though it wasn’t uncomfortable to Thor at all. Loki would speak every once in a while, but it was only to tell him to turn either left or right. Mostly Thor paid attention to his surroundings and tried not to feel bad – the neighbourhood looked horrendous. There was just no other word to describe it. Houses were dilapidated and the paint was chipped in all sorts of places. Shingles on the roofs were patchy and the grass was over-grown in most of the yards. Trash littered the sides of the roads and there were holes in the asphalt. Thor couldn’t help but think of his own house, how clean and new it looked, even though he’d lived in it for several years. He couldn’t help but think about how green and neat his grass looked, how the roads were smooth to drive on. It was yet another reminder of how stark the differences between their living situations were.

            “We’re here,” Loki said, snapping Thor out of his thoughts. He turned his head towards Loki, watching as he sat straighter in his seat. Loki then pointed towards a house with faded white paint, and Thor slowed his car. Even without Loki telling him, it was obvious that a birthday-party was going on – balloons were everywhere and Thor couldn’t help but notice a lot of tall, pale people with jet black hair. “Park under that tree, so there isn’t a chance of it getting stolen.”

            “Come again?” Thor asked incredulously, his eyes gaping open.

            The very idea shocked Thor, but Loki only levelled him with a bored expression, as though he should already know. “Thor, look around you. Does this neighbourhood look as though it’s safe? You’re in my world now.”

            A moment later, with his car parked under a tree near the house, Thor and Loki were walking towards the front of the yard, where the birthday-party was taking place. Tables were stationed around, holding presents and food and a birthday cake that was pink and green with a smiling turtle with too-big eyes. People were standing around and talking, a few kids were running around, but it was hard to tell which one was Agatha, since they all had jet black hair. Thor figured it would probably be stupid to ask if they were all family, since it was obvious that they were. He was surrounded by faces he’d never seen before and, had he not been walking with Loki, Thor would have felt completely out of his element.

            It was as they were grabbing a drink from one of the tables that a familiar face caught Thor’s eye. “I thought Helblindi couldn’t come.”

            “Byleistr,” Loki said without looking up from pouring a soda into his plastic cup. Thor glanced at him before looking back at the man who held a striking resemblance to Helblindi, only to then recognise some of the differences. Though both men were bald and well-build, the man Loki called Byleistr looked shorter. “He’s two years younger than Helblindi. He also lives a few blocks away from us.”

            “He’s one funny son-of-a-bitch,” A voice said from beside Thor. “I snorted soda through my nose, because of that guy.”

            Glancing to his left, Thor felt his eyes widen once more at the sight of a grinning Clint Barton. A quick look around the area revealed Natasha, who was standing under a tree with a drink in her hand, talking to Sif. “Oh, my God, I wasn’t expecting to see you here at all!” Thor exclaimed, pulling Clint into a hug before he could think. Only when he heard a cracking sound did he pull away, but Clint was laughing, so he wasn’t worried about any possible injuries. It was easy sometimes to forget his strength. “Where were you all summer?”

            “Russia,” Clint replied, shaking his head. “Nat thought it would be a good idea to meet her family – why, I have no idea.”

            “Probably, because you two will be getting married in a few years and it’s best for the bride’s family to know the pain in the ass groom,” Loki added, causing Thor to smirk in his direction. Clint merely groaned and glanced behind him to where Natasha was still at.

            “Please turn away the next time you say such things. She can read lips, remember?”

            As though she could sense being talked about, Thor watched as Natasha turned and immediately caught Clint’s eye. Their relationship had always interested Thor. Perhaps it was because they seemed to communicate without words, how they moved with the other. It was like a dance between the two – a dance that neither really ever seemed to notice, though everyone associated with them couldn’t help but seeing. Natasha’s attention shifted after a moment and, when her dark blue eyes landed on Thor, he smiled and waved at her, grinning wider when she brightened at the sight of him.

            “I have to say, I’m glad that this year, the theme is turtles. I couldn’t handle the Barbie’s last year,” Clint continued, his words snapping Thor out of his thoughts. Last year’s theme …? Only when it sunk in did Thor feel his chest tightening, a sudden annoyance blossoming. So Clint and Natasha also knew about Agatha? He focussed on the bitter feelings for only a moment before he remembered that Loki knew Clint and Natasha long before he knew him, so, of course, they knew Agatha. Clint and Natasha – as much as Thor loathed admitting it – probably knew more about Loki then he did, so there was no reason to get so upset.

            “When it’s your birthday, you can choose your own fucking theme,” Loki said and, though his voice was firm, Thor couldn’t help but detect amusement. “Now get out of here before your fiancée spanks you for wandering away from her.”

            “You’re such a dick,” Clint replied, though he made his way back to Natasha, who shifted without turning, giving Clint space to sidling up to her side. Thor shook his head just slightly, wondering just how a relationship like that worked.

            His attention was torn from that scene by Loki, who placed his hand over his forearm, thin fingers wrapping around the muscle. “Come on – let’s go say hello to the birthday girl.”

            They weaved through the crowd of people – people who all looked the same to Thor – stopping only momentarily when being spoken to. Eventually, though, they made it to the other side of the house, where a group of about five kids were playing around, running and chasing each other. Only then did Thor recognise which one was Agatha, because Agatha was the one who couldn’t be caught, who was dodging tiny hands, laughing and jumping out of the way, her tiny feet carrying her over the over-grown grass, making it seem as though she was flying. Of course, when she caught sight of Loki, she abandoned her game and ran towards him, jumping into his outstretched arms.

            “Loki!”

            “Happy Birthday,” Loki said, smiling before suddenly putting her right in Thor’s arms. He tensed, his sparkling blue eyes widening for the second time to a span of only ten minutes as Loki went down on his knees. “Agatha, have you been running around with your shoes untied?”

            “I didn’t fall,” Agatha said, reclining back against Thor, as though he wasn’t someone she had met just the other day. Thor tried to relax himself. She was only a child, after all, not a wild animal that could sense his fear. It was ridiculous to feel nervous. He re-adjusted his grip on her, which drew her attention to him. Thor watched as her emerald green eyes – Loki’s eyes – widened at the sight of him. She smiled broadly. “Thor!”

            “Hi there,” Thor said, finding that the smile that stretched his face wasn’t one that was forced, but one that came naturally. It was shocking at first, but he decided to stop thinking so much and just enjoy himself. “Happy Birthday, Agatha – how are you?”

            “Fine,” She answered, the smile on her own face never fading. Thor could see Loki standing in his peripheral vision, but he kept his eyes on Agatha.

            “What do you say, Agatha?” Loki reprimanded, though there was no ire to his voice.

            “Oh – thank you,” Agatha corrected, glancing at Loki before turning her attention back to Thor. Thor chuckled before setting her down on the ground.

            “You’re welcome. How are you feeling?” At the sight of her confusion, Thor poked her in the stomach, enough to bring a giggle out of the little girl. “I only ask, because you’re looking rather old.”

            Agatha laughed at that, and Thor couldn’t help but do the same. Her eyes lit up at the joke, her hands twisting around, her body turning from side to side as she stood in front of him. She was absolutely precious. From the corner of his eye, he could see Loki smiling, watching the scene quietly, and knowing that he was doing something right, knowing that he was making Loki happy by talking to his sister, knowing that he was making Agatha happy by teasing and messing with her … it made Thor feel that maybe he was good for something.

            “Agatha – oh, there you are. I have been looking everywhere for you,” A woman’s voice brought Thor from his thoughts, and he stood to his feet, turning towards the sound, only to be greeted by a woman that looked like a mirror-image of Loki himself. It shouldn’t have been all that surprising, seeing as how his entire family looked the same, but still, Thor felt his breath escape him, his eyes – once again – widening. And when her gaze turned upon him, he wasn’t surprised to see the same emerald greens that had become his favourite colour. “Hello, Thor, I’m Farbauti. I’m Loki and Agatha’s mother.”

            The fact that she knew his name caught him completely off guard, so much that Loki had to elbow him in the side before he snapped out of it and stepped forward, reaching a hand out to shake hers. He needed to get a grip of himself. He was acting ridiculous now. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” _Finally_ meet you? It made it sound as though Thor had wanted to meet her, as though his and Loki’s relationship had turned from committing to of utter seriousness and, even though they both cared about each other, they were still young! He was going everywhere at once. It was time to relax already.

            “Well, you enjoy yourself. Do you need anything?” She asked, but before Thor could even think – and honestly, that was such a hard feat at the moment, for reasons unknown even to him – Farbauti continued talking, her gaze sweeping over the yard. “I’m sorry you have to see our home looking like this. Usually we are so much neater. I know you’re used to far better accommodations. I told Loki to move those streamers closer to the trees, but he moved them towards the house.”

            “I told you why I did that, mother,” Loki said, his tone almost warning, his gaze boring into hers, and Thor realised that Loki looked … nervous? Perhaps not nervous, but he didn’t want her to say anything to embarrass him, which meant that Loki wanted this to work out well, to leave a good impression. The very idea – though far-fetched, and anything he thought of now was up in the air, seeing as how his mind was taking him everywhere – had Thor smiling.

            “It would have looked so much better, though.”

            “Yes, well, it’s a safety precaution. You know Byleistr bought fireworks.”

            “I think the party looks wonderful,” Thor interjected before he could stop to think. He went so far as to playfully nudge Agatha, who immediately giggled and pushed against Thor’s leg. It was the right thing to say, though, despite such an impulse, because Farbauti smiled and put a hand on his arm.

            “Thank you, sweetie,” She said her voice warm and kind and Thor suddenly had no idea what he was supposed to say or do. Before he could outright panic at the way his mind seemed to freeze, Farbauti turned her attention to Agatha. Thor watched in a haze as she leaned down and picked the little girl up. “Please eat and drink whatever you like. Enjoy yourself,” And with that, she was gone, leaving Thor and Loki alone again.

            Thor didn’t have to wait long before Loki said something. Of course, he was grateful when his arm was taken and he was led away from the people, taken to the back yard where no-one was around. It gave them privacy, gave Thor a moment to collect himself, to pull himself together, and figure out just why his head was spinning. “You’re not used to that, are you?”

            “What?”

            Thor looked up in time to watch Loki shrug his shoulders. “Your parents are assholes. You don’t get affection like that.”

            “No.”

            “My mother is wonderful,” Loki said. Thor could hear the conviction in his voice, the adoration and respect he held for her. His chest tightened some, his throat constricting. He was over-reacting, he knew that, but … Thor couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if his mother was anything like Farbauti. He wondered what she would be like if money wasn’t the most important thing in the world to her and Odin. Things would be a lot different, that would be for sure. Thor found that he was actually jealous of Loki. “She’ll treat you like family.”

            Thor swallowed thickly before looking down. “I’d like that, actually. It sounds nice.”

            Thor felt more than saw Loki lean closer to him. He closed his eyes as Loki wrapped both of his hands around one of his, squeezing tightly. “Hey,” Loki said, and Thor looked at him. “What do you say about being my partner in crime?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “I’m glad you asked. I just so happen to have a few water-guns under the porch, already full of water. There are a lot of kids in the front yard that are just begging to get soaked,” Thor could feel his lips curving upwards the more Loki spoke, his mood rising. “What do you say?”

            “I’m in.”


	5. I've Never Shown Before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a positive and a negative. Positive – Thor and Loki’s relationship is still going great. Negative – Thor realises that there are some things you can’t escape from. While dealing with his own problems, Thor begins to see that maybe he’s not the only one with secrets.

            The last thing Thor expected was to fall asleep on the floor of Loki’s room, a pillow under his head and his legs tangled in an old looking blanket. He wasn’t expecting it, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care one way or the other. Agatha’s birthday-party had been _fun_ , and he didn’t know if that made him sound pathetic and lame for even thinking that a six-year old’s birthday-party was actual enjoyment, but Thor had to admit that it had a hell of a lot to do with Loki. Somehow they had gone from a water-gun attack on the children to playing hide-and-seek to having a – believe it or not – tea-party. How it happened, he still didn’t know, but Agatha was happy and Thor had immense amusement in seeing Loki’s pinky finger stick out as he drank from his imaginary pink teacup.

            Smiling tiredly, Thor rolled over onto his side, groaning quietly at the soreness of his muscles. Sleeping on the floor hadn’t been a good idea – not a good idea at all. He glanced over to the right when he heard a ruffling noise, only to find that it was Loki stretched out on the bed in the oddest of positions, but looking nothing more than comfortable and content. Ignoring the tightness in his chest, Thor quietly pulled himself into a standing position and stretched his arms high above his head, letting out a sigh of relief at the popping of his joints.

            He felt … good. And after all of the craziness that had been happening over the summer with his parents, Thor honestly didn’t expect to feel as though nothing in the world could faze him. Of course, Loki had been and was still a huge part of that. Perhaps he was sounding sentimental – he most certainly sounded sappy in his mind – but Thor’s affections only seemed to grow the more he was with Loki. He was confident and sure with the man, unworried about being judged or wanted for being the son of Odin. He was just Loki. And Loki accepted him.

            After the stiffness in his muscles resided enough for him to not feel discomfort, Thor stole a glance in Loki’s direction, contemplating whether or not he wanted to take a picture of how dishevelled he looked. Thor truly had no idea how to describe what position Loki was in. It looked like he was sitting down, but had keeled forward, with his head and body in between his legs. It was the oddest sight in the world, but Thor also found it endearing. Perhaps he would allow Loki the morning for peace, but the second he woke up and they saw each other again, Thor was going to hound him about it. Thor could hardly wait.

            Turning his attention away from Loki, fighting the want and desire to brush his hand through Loki’s jet black hair, Thor straightened his clothing as much as he could before ambling out of the bedroom. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Loki up when he looked so peaceful. He closed the door softly behind him and walked down the hallway, unsure of where he was going, but knowing that he would probably have to go home very soon. God, he didn’t even tell his mother and father that he would be gone all evening, and he sure as hell didn’t tell them that he was spending the night. Swallowing thickly, Thor tried not to think too much about it. They were always so preoccupied with other matters – perhaps they wouldn’t even notice his absence. _As if_ , a voice shouted at him from the back of his mind.

            He was going to be in so much shit when he returned home.

            “Good morning, Thor,” His attention snapped back into the present when he heard Loki’s mother, Farbauti, greeting him. Only then did he get a whiff of what smelled like bacon. His stomach growled and, before Thor knew it, he was moving towards the kitchen. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday evening, and that had been hours ago. “I trust you slept well.”

            When he entered the kitchen, the sight before him caused him to halt mid-step. If the smell alone wasn’t enough to get to him then the sight of Farbauti was. Hair pinned up high on the top of her head, she looked radiant and warm and … Thor found himself swallowing thickly, yesterday’s emotions getting to him, because … he didn’t even know. She was dressed in pyjamas and a robe was covering her body and, despite the tired look in her eyes, the smile that she sent him was enough to cause his heart to pound almost painfully against his rib-cage. Frigga didn’t look anything like Farbauti did. Frigga looked young and put together; Farbauti was aged, worried lines creasing her face faintly, showing the stress and the struggle that life had thrown her and her family’s way.

            She looked absolutely beautiful.

            “Yeah, I, uh …” Thor forced out, only to then realise how ridiculous he sounded. He lifted a hand and rubbed the back of his neck as he awkwardly shuffled into the room. “I’m sorry for sticking around. I didn’t mean to fall asleep last night.”

            He wondered what she would say. Was she only pretending to be happy to see him, because she was only trying to be nice? Somehow, Thor doubted that that was the reason behind her smile. “You are welcome here, Thor. Don’t worry about it. I’ll have to find a cot or an air-mattress for the next time you decide to spend the night, though …”

            “Why would you do that?” The question was out before Thor could think, but there was no taking it back now. His breath caught in his throat and he watched as Farbauti took her eyes away from the saucepan of eggs she was scrambling, scrutinising him thoughtfully.

            “Would you like some breakfast?” She asked instead, motioning to a barstool at the counter. Numbly, Thor walked over and sank into the seat. He really needed better control over himself, because what was she thinking about him now? If she didn’t think him foolish before, she was probably inwardly laughing at him over how ridiculous he was behaving. And honestly, after saying _that_ to her when she was only trying to be kind – he wouldn’t allow himself to think otherwise – Thor wouldn’t blame her at all for laughing at him. Instead, though, much to his surprised, she merely plated some eggs and bacon and slid it over to him before going to the fridge and grabbing a carton of milk. She poured him a glass. “I actually wanted to thank you.”

            That definitely took Thor off guard. It was a good thing he hadn’t put anything in his mouth just yet. “What? Why?”

            His bafflement must have amused her, because she reached over and put a hand on his wrist, rubbing soothing circles into the skin. Like Loki’s, her hands were calloused with years and years of work. “It’s all right, Thor. Relax and eat your breakfast,” His hand automatically took the fork that was offered to him and he scooped up a bit of egg, putting it into his mouth. The eggs were creamy and – without sounding too cliché – the best he had ever tasted before. “I wanted to thank you for taking care of my son,” She continued. “I have never seen him so happy before, and I have a feeling it’s because of you.”

            “I doubt that,” Thor huffed, a small grin on his face. And before he was aware of what he was saying, he said: “To be honest, I think I need him more than he needs me.”

            Perhaps that was the dumbest thing he could possibly say. After all, he was speaking to Loki’s _mother_. God, if nothing before had put her off him then that surely would. He felt like smacking himself. But again, to Thor’s endless surprise, Farbauti merely reached over and brushed his hair aside before winking at him. “I wouldn’t be so sure. Trust me – he’s crazy about you.”

-x- -x- -x-

            He had been home for all of two hours and, in that time Thor had yet to hear a single sound coming from anywhere else in the house – minus the noise that he was making, of course. And he honestly didn’t know if he should be on guard, anxious as to when his mother and father would jump out at him when he least expected it and corner him, demanding to know where he was or what he was doing. And he also didn’t know if he should just relax and bask in the peace that he had now. It was sad that those were the thoughts going through his mind, sad that his life consisted of fearing what the next confrontation between himself and his parents would be about and when.

            But he couldn’t think like that now, not when he had emerged from the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, water running down his face and chest, with his mobile vibrating, indicating the arrival of a text. Instead of acting like a human being and getting dressed before opening the text, Thor forewent that action and rushed to his mobile, which was stationed on his night-table.

            _‘I thought only one-night stands snuck out before the other wakes,’_ Loki’s text message said, causing Thor to laugh and sit down on the bed. They had been dating for months now and he still felt his heart pound. He was addicted to Loki.

            Fingers quickly moving across the keyboard, Thor typed out his reply before moving back into the bathroom, grabbing a fresh towel to dry his body with. _‘Fuck you; I was only trying to be considerate. You looked so cute while sleeping with your hair all messed up.’_

            _‘If you tell anyone about what you saw this morning, I will have no choice but to kill you.’_

            Satisfied that he was dry enough to put on clothes, Thor moved to his closet and started rooting through his selection of jeans and shirts – or should he go with shorts, since it was so hot outside? _‘You’re working today – is Sif working, too? I need to show her the picture I took of you with your torso between your legs,’_ Chuckling to himself, Thor grabbed a pair of jeans – the nearest within his reach – and a shirt to his right.

            _‘THOR.’_

            _‘Okay, okay, I’ll be good,’_ Thor shook his head and got dressed before finishing up his message. Where were his shoes …? _‘So are you at the diner?’_

            It took several minutes for Loki to reply back to the message, giving Thor enough time to hunt around his room for his shoes, wallet, and keys. Honestly, he put the stuff down when he walked into the room and they suddenly decided to hide from him. His attention was torn from the hunt when his mobile vibrated. _‘Do me a favour and get your ass down here – now, preferably.’_

            Thor’s brows furrowed. _‘What’s going on?’_ He didn’t get an answer in reply, which caused Thor’s anxiety to rise. It was as though he was seeing the expression on Loki’s face instead of simply reading his message. Before they were teasing back and forth, and now it seemed as though things took a turn for the worst all of a sudden. It made no sense and Thor had no way of discerning what it meant. So he did the only thing he could think of doing – he found his shit and rushed to the car, peeling out of the driveway.

            The entire way to the diner, all Thor could think about was that his parents had somehow figured out where Loki worked and were there now, causing trouble. He wracked his mind to see if there was anything that he might have said to give away anything about Loki and his occupation. He honestly couldn’t think of anything, though. If at all possible, Thor had tried to keep Loki and his relationship with Loki away from his parents. It wasn’t as though he was embarrassed by it, because Thor definitely wasn’t. By keeping Loki away from his parents, it was all done to protect him. God knew what had happened the last time they found out about Loki. Thor still didn’t like thinking about it, feeling both anger and shame at the way they behaved.

            Parking his car in the lot of the diner, Thor climbed out and made his way inside – only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw none other than Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, and James Rhodes sitting at one of the booths. At first, Thor felt as though he was dreaming, because there was no way that they would be in a diner like this. But after blinking several times and squinting his eyes, it was clear that he wasn’t dreaming, that his three former _friends_ were, in fact, there. Dread filled him then, because the reasons for them being there couldn’t be good.

            “Thor!” Tony suddenly exclaimed, and Thor cursed himself, because _of course_ they would notice him. He was just standing in the doorway like an idiot. “Buddy, come join us!”

            Instead of going over to them, Thor half-waved before moving across the diner to where the counters were. Sif was messing with the drink machine, a stern look on her face, and that couldn’t be good, either. She was usually smiling whenever he came into the diner. “Hey, what’s going on? Where’s Loki?”

            Sif looked up at him and sighed. “He’s in the back. He finished taking their orders.”

            “What the hell are they doing here?” It was a question that he was sure Sif wouldn’t know the answer to, but it was a bit relieving to voice it out anyway. At least he knew that Tony’s presence – along with Steve and Rhodey’s – was causing tension for everyone else, as well.

            “I don’t know, but they’re pissing me off,” Sif hissed. She shook her head and sent a hot glare in their direction, and Thor knew that, given the chance, she would go over there and put them all in their place. But she was on the clock and doing so would only put herself in jeopardy of losing her job. “They’re causing trouble for Loki, meddling and trying to set him off.”

            That definitely got Thor’s attention. He could feel his fists curling into balls, his knuckles turning white with how tightly he was holding them. Choosing Loki over them had happened over four months ago – why hadn’t they let it go yet? _And how in the hell did they know where Loki worked?_ Before Thor had the chance to think more about it, he saw Tony stand from where he was sitting and move towards the counter. He didn’t even look at Thor.

            “Hey, so where are our re-fills? We’re kind of thirsty here. In case you haven’t noticed, it’s a sauna out there,” Tony said, his eyes casting a distasteful sneer about the room. Thor wanted to punch him in the face. Again – _why were they here?_ “Did the drink machine die from old age or something?”

            Sif forced a smile. “Loki just left your table. He’s coming with them.”

            “Be a doll and go back there to tell him to make it snappy. If he wants a tip – and it looks like, from the sight of this place, he lives off of them – then we’d appreciate speed and efficiency.”

            How Thor was able to keep himself from lashing out at Tony, he didn’t know. There was a moment of stillness – Thor was sure it was a moment where Sif was debating just how much she needed her job – before she plastered another smile to her face and nodded, moving into the back. He kind of wished the job wasn’t as important as it probably was, because he would give anything to see what Sif would do to him. But it was needed and Thor was left at the counter with Tony, the adrenaline in his body starting to pick up, because he had no idea what was going on, why Tony was there, but God, he wanted to put his fist right through the man’s skull.

            “Couldn’t help but notice your acceptance to my father’s internship programme,” Tony said, snapping Thor’s attention away from the image of him flying across the diner. The looks on Steve and Rhodey’s faces … “I had to see for myself if it was true.”

            “And you came all the way over here? Why?” Thor demanded, almost shocking himself with how harsh his voice was. It _almost_ shocked him. No, he was too annoyed and frustrated with what was happening to worry about the way he sounded. If the tone of his voice surprised Tony in any way, the man didn’t show it. If anything, he grinned and finally looked at him, those chocolate brown eyes full of mirth. “What do you want?”

            “Well, I wanted at least some enjoyment out of this,” The only reason why Thor didn’t grab Tony by the neck and start beating the ever living shit out of him was because of Loki, who stepped out of the back with a tray of drinks balanced on top. And what made matters worse was Thor’s re-action and Tony’s perceptiveness. He zeroed in on the way Thor reeled himself back, his grin spreading into a smirk, because yeah … Thor fucked up. “Thank God. I thought we were all going to die due to lack of dehydration. Come on now – chop, chop.”

            Thor watched as Tony turned around and made his way back to the table he was sitting at, Rogers and Rhodey both snickering like the fucking assholes they were. Thor honestly had no idea how he was still standing there without blood on his hands. Perhaps it was the way his anger immediately morphed into concern at the stressed, pinched look on Loki’s face. He hoped he was wrong, but Thor foresaw nothing but disaster coming from this.

            Stepping closer to the counter, Thor reached over and wrapped his hand loosely around Loki’s wrist – the one that wasn’t balancing the tray. When Loki looked at him, Thor could see that he relaxed slightly, his emerald green eyes losing some of that intensity. “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah, I just …” He trailed off and then snorted quietly. “I didn’t mean for you to rush down here. I suppose I just needed you …” It was said so nonchalantly, as though it didn’t hold as much meaning and trust as it did. It caused Thor to momentarily forget the fact that Stark and his idiotic friends were there, his heart starting to race for an entirely different reason. He was so head over heels for Loki.

            “Well, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

            “Do you want a tip or not?” Tony’s voice broke the moment, and just like that, Thor went back to hating the ass.

            Loki smiled faintly, though, shaking his head. “Just stay close and make sure I don’t do anything stupid.”

            “I think that should be in reference to me,” Thor said, but he slid into the seat at the counter, his eyes watching as Loki moved towards the table that Tony was sitting at with Steve and Rhodey. With each step that he took, Thor could see how the muscles were stiffening. It didn’t take Thor long at all to see how Loki was on the same page as he was. Loki was livid. Something was definitely going to go down – whether it was initiated by them or Stark, Thor was still trying to determine.

            He sat there and watched. He took in the way Loki carried himself around them. He was doing a much better job than Thor ever would, but then again, Loki’s job was catering to the whims of his customers. But still, Thor didn’t know how Loki was managing. Even from where he was sitting, Thor could see how Tony and his friends were baiting Loki, trying to wind him up, and get him to say something. It was frustrating to just sit there like that, knowing exactly the kind of people Tony, Steve, and Rhodey were. His fists were balled tightly, his entire body tense and coiled up, ready for the word to launch himself at Stark.

            What made matters worse was the fact that he couldn’t do anything. And no amount of glowering over at their table did much of any good. He felt helpless, and it was a feeling that he was more than accustomed to. Thor was simply forced to sit and watch as Loki struggled to handle the group, the tension in his body manifesting, though there were no outer signs of his growing ire. Thor commended Loki on that – he would have kicked all of their asses if he had the choice.

            It was just proof on how much Loki had changed him. Last semester, there was no way he would have had the backbone to do anything. But that assignment in English happened and Loki showed him that there was another way to life, another way to project himself to those around him.

            So lost in his own thoughts, Thor almost missed the way that Tony’s hand casually reached up and tipped the tray in Loki’s hand, the half-empty drinks falling and landing all over Steve’s shirt. It was planned. It was planned from the fucking beginning, because suddenly Tony grinned triumphantly and Rhodey ducked his head and put a hand over his mouth to prevent his laughter from being too loud. Thor didn’t even realise he had jumped from his seat before Sif was beside him, a hand wrapped around his arm, though her fingers weren’t anywhere close to surrounding the muscle of his bicep.

            “What the –” Loki started. They had completely taken him off guard, his eyes wide and his entire body moving back from the table a step or two. Of course, it didn’t take long for Loki to realise what was happening, and Thor couldn’t help but think about that time in the hallway with the three police-officers who searched his locker. Loki had been so sure of his innocence, only then to realise that he was being framed.

            And it was happening all over again.

            “Why did you do that?” Tony exclaimed loudly, his voice reverberating off of the walls. He was staring at Loki with a look of both disgust and superiority, as though Loki was an ant and he was the boot that was going to smash him. Sif must have noticed his growing ire, because her hand tightened around his arm even more.

            “Thor, don’t,” She hissed.

            “I –” Loki started, and Thor hated more than anything how he was still trying to catch his bearings. He knew it, but _God_ , not again. Thor jerked his arm from Sif’s grip and took a few steps forward, but stopped when Hogun – or he assumed it was Hogun, since he had never seen the man before – rushed from the back room.

            Tony’s gaze immediately landed on his. “What the hell is this? You hire clumsy assholes to work for you?”

            “I’m so sorry,” Hogun said, holding out a towel for Steve to take. “Loki is usually very good at his job,” The man shot Loki a look, and he couldn’t honestly think it was Loki’s fault!

            One look from Tony and Steve was snorting, tossing the towel onto the table and forcing his way to his feet. “Fuck it – there’s no way in hell I’m eating here. What, do you expect me to wear my food, too?” Thor felt like going over there and ripping them all apart.

            “What are you going to do about this, huh?” Tony demanded. This was all a game to him and he was playing his part well. Thor felt Sif’s hands grab a hold of his arm again, and he knew that she was trying to keep him from storming over there – or perhaps she was using him as an anchor to keep herself from going over there. “You do know who I am, right? And I’m sure you can imagine that I’m doing you a favour by even stepping foot inside of this dump,” Tony’s lips sneered as he motioned to the inside of the diner. “This asshole just ruined my friend’s shirt. Surely you can do better than him.”

            “You’ve got to kidding me,” Loki finally said, finding his voice. Unlike the locker-incident, Loki wasn’t nearly as surprised anymore. “You know I didn’t –”

            “I was in the back watching from the security cameras. I saw what happened.”

            “Yeah and which angle were you watching from – my back?” Loki snapped.

            Hogun’s gaze became steely, and Thor knew what was going to happen next, his heart lurching into his throat, because – _fuck_ – this couldn’t be happening right now. “You’re fired, Loki. Go home and I’ll mail your final check,” And with that, Hogun apologised one last time to Tony, Steve, and Rhodey – Tony, who merely waved Hogun away – before taking his leave.

            There was silence for almost a full minute before Tony chuckled, standing up. Thor watched as Stark tossed a bill onto the table and pushed past Loki, making his way out of the restaurant with Steve and Rhodey following behind. The second they were gone, Thor immediately rushed over to Loki, lifting a hand to touch him, but thinking better of it at the last second. His heart was pounding and he honestly didn’t know what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. He highly doubted that Loki would want to be consoled, what with his trembling body and scowling face. He looked as though he could chase after them and rip Tony’s – and Steve’s and Rhodey’s – face right off. No, Thor remained where he was, at least standing in between Loki and the three assholes that were had just walked out of the diner.

            “Loki?” Thor ventured after several seconds. He wondered what was going through his mind. Here he was, staring at Loki, seeing the utter rage that not only was expressed on his features, but the raw energy that was just radiating from his entire being … And Thor was pissed, too, wanted nothing more than to follow Tony right out of the diner and kick the ever living shit out of him, but Loki needed him more … at least he thought he did.

            “Loki, for God’s sake, you need to say something,” Sif finally exclaimed when Loki appeared to not hear a word that Thor said. The fear and anxiousness on her face was enough of an indication that she was just as worried about him, but Thor didn’t think too much about it. Loki was as tense as … God, he didn’t even know what. Was there anything that was as tense as Loki in that moment? Thor doubted it.

            But before Thor could say or do anything to snap Loki out of his trance, he suddenly walked right past Thor and moved out of the diner. Shocked, Thor turned to Sif and, after seeing the alarmed look in her eyes – because Loki was unpredictable and evasive and Thor had absolutely no idea what he was going to do – he followed after him, knowing that whatever was going to happen wasn’t going to be a good thing. Loki was too wound up and too pissed to be thinking straight. Thor had to be there to stop him from doing something he wouldn’t be able to take back.

            By the time he got outside, he could see that Steve and Rhodey were pulling out of the diner’s parking lot – Steve wearing a new fucking clean shirt – pepping their horn and hooting like the high-school students who had yet to grow up. Stark wasn’t in his car yet and, from what Thor could see, was too busy texting on his mobile to pay much attention to Loki’s approaching form. And he certainly wasn’t expecting Loki to grab him by the collar of his shirt and drag him to the side of the diner that wasn’t visible to the road, slamming him against the red, chipped wall. Thor quickened his pace.

            “Loki,” He called, partially out of breath – both due to his anger and adrenaline. “What are you doing?”

            “I’m trying to decide if I want to kill him or beat the fuck out of him,” Loki replied, not once taking his eyes off of Tony. The sight was oddly terrifying. Thor hadn’t seen such an intense look in his wild, emerald green eyes since the time when they kissed in his room at the window. Thor had no idea what to think about that. Perhaps he should be paying more attention to what was happening in front of him then allowing his mind to wonder to places like Loki’s lips on his …

            “Lay a hand on me and I assure you, I’ll have you put in jail for attempted murder!” Tony snarled, bringing Thor back into the present.

            For his part, Loki didn’t look the least bit fazed. He removed his hand from Tony’s collar – though Thor knew that Loki would put Tony right back in his place in the blink of an eye should he even think about moving – and cocked his head to the side, as though assessing him. “What did I ever do to you?” Loki asked his voice surprisingly curious and not in the least bit angry. Thor took a step closer, not trusting that voice just yet.

            “What didn’t you do?” Tony shot back, straightening his shirt and standing up to his full height, but even then, he was still looking up slightly to reach Loki’s gaze.

            “Exactly – I can’t remember ever speaking to you. From what I remember – and I assure you, I remember quite a fucking lot – we’ve never crossed paths before,” Loki said. Thor had no idea where this was going and he had no idea why Loki was so calm, but he allowed himself a moment to relax just a bit. Of course, the slight movement had Loki’s gaze snapping over to his. He narrowed his eyes some before looking back at Tony, motioning his head towards Thor. “Is it because of him? Did I take away your favourite toy and you’re trying to get back at me?”

            “Hey,” Thor shot half-heartedly in Loki’s direction. Though he had to admit, he was kind of curious as to what Tony’s answer would be.

            “Or is it because you’re just a pathetic, petulant child, who likes to act like he’s better than everyone else to make himself feel better? Honestly, if _that’s_ the reason for why you _framed_ me for having cannabis and had me _arrested_ …”

            Thor watched the many expressions pass over Tony’s face, ranging from outrage to aghast to a possible – Thor had no idea if he was seeing this correctly – hint of shame before his chocolate brown eyes darkened, jaw squaring. “I did all of that, because I _could_. You’re nothing but a freak.”

            The overwhelming fury that washed over Thor when those words slipped through Tony’s mouth almost had him reeling, because there was no fucking way he was going to walk away from _that_ unscathed. Loki was either going to throw the punch or _he_ was, because Thor couldn’t allow that fucking asshole to get away with that. What gave him the right to call Loki that? The fucker had absolutely no idea who Loki was or what he had been through. Stark had everything he could want. Loki had to work and fight to get half of that. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair and Thor hated himself for ever thinking that he was friends with the likes of Tony Stark. _God_ , all he wanted was to rip that smirk from his damn face …

            That anger, however, was immediately knocked from him by Loki’s action – the man laughed. He actually threw his head back and laughed with such mirth that both Thor and Tony were staring at him as though he’d lost his mind. And for all Thor knew, he might have. He just lost his _job_.

            “Jesus Christ, Stark, I can chew you up and spit you right back out,” Loki said when he was finally able to breathe again. Thor was thinking that Loki was back under control again, but that was ruined when Loki’s hand shot forward and wrapped around Tony’s neck. It wasn’t a tight grip, one that could cut off his oxygen and have him squirming against the side of the diner, but it was firm enough for Tony’s eyes to widen, his hands coming up and wrapping around Loki’s thin wrist. And it certainly had Thor’s breath halting in his chest. “You have no idea what _I_ can do. So let me do you a favour here, because the next time I see your face anywhere near mine, I’m going rip you apart.”

            “What the fuck!” Tony gasped out, all bravado gone.

            Thor would have found that amusing, but he was too busy staring at Loki. For as terrifying and intimidating as he was … Loki was very hot in that moment. His muscles were tense and his emerald green eyes had a wild look to them, though everything else about him was calm. The expression on his face was that of a teacher chiding and scolding a student. And he was nothing if not thorough. His message was reaching Stark loud and clear, and there was something about the way Loki was being so domineering that had Thor shifting his weight, swallowing heavily. God, his attention should be focussed on what Loki was going to do to Tony, not how utterly attractive he was in that moment. He thought way too much for his own good.

            “For your own benefit, I’m going to be the person that you think me as. You think I’m a loser, a bum, someone who’s not going anywhere in the world. And, hey, maybe you’re right. I can’t tell the future – maybe you can. You think you’re God’s gift to humanity. Maybe He gave you that gift, too. So I’ll give you an actual reason to hate me. But Stark –” With his free hand, Loki reached around Tony and pulled his wallet from his back pocket. Shoving Stark against the wall – it was a warning if not anything, telling him to remain exactly where he was or … well, Loki would probably hurt him – Thor watched as Loki opened it up and pulled out the cash that was stuffed inside. Closing the wallet, Loki hurtled it towards Tony’s car. “– if I see you anywhere near me or this place again, if I see you in _my_ part of town again, I _will_ make you regret it. Now get the fuck out of here.”

            “I …” Tony started, though he trailed off. Thor didn’t think he’d ever seen him look so flabbergasted before – then again, he’d never seen Loki do _this_ before, either. Today was just full of surprises. “I’ll have you arrested!”

            “I don’t see any witnesses,” Loki replied, the tone of his voice a purr almost. He didn’t seem at all fazed. “And I highly doubt Thor will come to your pathetic aid.”

            “Those security cameras –” Tony pointed wildly at one that was hanging off the side of the wall.

            Loki laughed again. “They haven’t been working for years. You’re wasting my time now, and you’re only embarrassing yourself. Piss off before I decide I want that car of yours. God knows it’ll lessen my commute.”

            _That_ of all things was what had Tony shoving past Thor and Loki and walking quickly to his car. Thor shook his head and didn’t even bother watching him go, his attention falling back on Loki once more, who was shuffling through the money that he had in his hand.

            Loki snorted quietly and fanned the money out – three hundred dollars. “That’s more money than I make in a month working here – and that’s tips included,” He pursed his lips. “I suppose I should say _worked_ now.”

            “Loki …” Thor started, unsure of what he should say. There were so many emotions running through him. Before he could think better of any of them, before he could take a moment and figure out which one was more dominant, Thor put his hand on the back of Loki’s neck and pulled him in, pressing their lips together in a kiss that was a hell of a lot more forceful than what they were generally used to.

            Loki made a surprised moan and Thor – before he could think and ruin the moment by over-analysing what he was doing, by how he was feeling – licked the inside of his mouth, his tongue running along his gums, tangling with Loki’s …

            When he finally pulled away – he couldn’t even remember when he wrapped both his arms around Loki’s waist, pinning him against him – he was completely out of breath. Loki looked even more so. “I’m sorry, I … shit, I, uh …”

            “You’ve been holding out on me,” Loki said and, instead of stepping back, he leaned into Thor, placing his hands on his chest, thin fingers trailing over his muscles. Thor couldn’t hold back the shiver that went straight through him.

            “Yeah, I guess I have,” Thor chuckled embarrassingly. He had no idea where that had come from …

            Loki smirked. “I liked it. Don’t change.”


	6. Somebody Shake Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a positive and a negative. Positive – Thor and Loki's relationship is still going great. Negative – Thor realises that there are some things you can't escape from. While dealing with his own problems, Thor begins to see that maybe he's not the only one with secrets.

            Thor truly should have known that he couldn’t get away with sleeping over at Loki’s house for the second night in a row without telling his parents about it. He should have known that the second he walked into the house and moved into the kitchen to get something to eat – he woke Farbauti by stumbling around that morning and refused to allow her to get up with him to make him breakfast – they would be there. He should have known, but the sight of them standing behind the counter, both with hot mugs of coffee wrapped up in their hands … it was still a daunting sight – one that had Thor slowing to a halt, his senses immediately going on edge, because the both of them standing there at attention, their eyes fixed on him with steely expressions … no, whatever was going to happen wasn’t going to end well for him at all.

            Switching his gaze from one parent to the other, Thor moved all the way into the kitchen. There was no point in running. Either he stood there and took their anger head-on, or they would simply follow him up to his room and refuse to leave him be until they have said what was on their mind. Both options were horrible, and Thor would probably give his left leg if it meant they would leave him alone. But that wasn’t an option. His parents were too controlling of him to allow him to do much of anything without them having some type of say of it. So, after a deep inhalation, Thor merely moved to the counter and stood on the opposite side of his parents. If it meant for a quicker escape then he would stand there and listen – and by listen, Thor merely meant he would pretend to listen, because there wasn’t anything they could tell him that he hadn’t heard a million times before already.

            Of course, they took their sweet time. Odin and Frigga stared at Thor, probably trying to make him sweat, start the conversation first, giving them even more power over him than they already had. And that right there frustrated Thor more than anything, because why did they have to make it all a game? It was an overrun argument that he’s had with himself, a rant that he’s talked himself dead with, but Thor still – even after all that they had done to him – couldn’t believe that that was his life. Perhaps when he was younger, he thought himself privileged. Perhaps when he was younger and had everything at his fingertips, he thought that he was better. But he had been a child, and children were naïve until they were active members in the real world. As Thor had gotten older, he started to realise that a big house and money weren’t all they were cracked up to be. Materialism was merely a thing. And what it cost Thor from the very beginning was his parents. Or maybe he never had them in the first place, which meant he never lost them. They weren’t his to lose.

            Perhaps that was why Thor had been so shocked and discombobulated by meeting Farbauti. She was … well, she was wonderful, ethereal. She _cared_ , his comfort _mattered_ , and that was something that Thor had never had before –

            “Where were you?” The question caught Thor off guard, too lost in his own thoughts to even remember that Odin and Frigga were standing on the other side of the counter, watching him with calculated eyes. “You weren’t home at all yesterday and you stumble into the house at nine a.m. Where were you at?” The question came from Frigga, her shoulders square and her hair immaculate.

            “I’m surprised you suddenly care,” Thor found himself saying. The words shocked him, but he didn’t give himself enough time to think about it. Why should he care? Why should he care when they never had for him? He shocked himself even more by continuing with that comment, his voice suddenly turning crass and cold. “What, with your futures unexpectedly in jeopardy, I can see why you’re worried about me.”

            Odin, who had been silent beside Frigga, tensed up. Thor could see his shoulders squaring all the more, his jaw clenching hard. “Thor. I would be very careful with how you proceed from here on out,” There wasn’t any tone involved. That was what was most nerve-wracking for Thor, hearing how he was so detached, so unemotionally invested in him. God, it made him sick, just as much as it made him sad. But honestly … how long should he have to mourn that loss? How long should he worry about getting his parents’ acceptance? He was done with that. He was just _done_.

            But Thor didn’t say anything. Despite wanting more than anything to snap and snarl and hurtle hateful words their way, Thor mirrored Odin’s actions and clenched his jaw.

            “Answer the question,” Frigga continued on as though Odin hadn’t spoken. Her light blue eyes were locked on his sparkling ones, every part of her demanding an answer from him. Thor felt his teeth grind together. If he continued on, he might actually chip a tooth.

            “I was with Loki.”

            “And you didn’t have a car to return home in?” Frigga raised an eyebrow, looking down on him as though he was a petulant child. God, she looked at him with that expression every time they spoke to one another. It was disgusting. How stupid did she truly think he was?

            “I didn’t want to come home. I wanted to stay –” Thor chanced a look at Odin before completing his sentence. “–So I did.”

            “And what gave you the right to make that decision?” Frigga’s voice was slowly starting to fill with rage. Perhaps she noticed the disobedience in his voice, the challenging tone. Good. Maybe then she and Odin will realise that he’s not a robot and that he is his own fucking person, that he will do what he wants, not what they want of him. “You are our son, Thor. _Listen_. You are not to spend the night over there again. What were you even thinking?”

            Thor sucked in a deep breath and, deciding that he should do something with his hands, walked over to the cabinet to get a glass. They might think his hands balled into tight fists to be an act of aggression, and if he had to deal with _that_ along with everything else, Thor might actually take a knife from the drawer and stab himself. He opened the cabinet and reached up and that … that was when he realised he fucked up big time.

            Frigga gasped and Thor could practically feel Odin’s eye zeroing in on the sun and the moon tattoo that was on his upper arm. Slowly, he lowered his arm and remained standing with his back to them, unsure if he was ready to see their face. His heart started pounding forcefully against his rib-cage, a tremor rippling through him, because … well, he didn’t know. He didn’t know if he should turn around and laugh in their face, because there was absolutely nothing they could do about the tattoo. It was permanent and no amount of money could ever truly get rid of its presence. But at the same time, he didn’t know if he was even ready to see the looks on their faces, because he was sure that they would be of disgust. And seeing that look on his parents’ faces, the people who were supposed to love him and protect him and take care of him … Thor didn’t want to see the opposite. Despite his feelings towards him, despite how done he was with them, it still stung, knowing how his relationship with his parents was solely based on their power over him.

            He didn’t get the chance to choose what he should do, because the decision – like always – was made for him. A strong hand wrapped around his arm and forced him around, and Thor had no choice but to look up into the fury that was Odin’s expression. Jerking the sleeve of his shirt up all the way, Odin glowered down at the tattoo – Thor could practically feel the burn of his glare.

            “What the _fuck_ have you done to yourself?”

            Swallowing thickly, Thor opened his mouth before closing it, only to repeat the process once more. As much as he wanted to throw a sarcastic retort, he was smarter than that. Anything that was said now was going to be examined and analysed and, if it wasn’t what his parents wanted to hear, then … well, Thor really didn’t want to know what they would do. Best to be careful, though …

            “I got a tattoo …” He replied, eyes moving from his father to Frigga, who had walked around the counter to join Odin’s side. He was acutely aware of how they were caging him in, his back against the counter. It made his senses heighten, his body tensing, as though detecting an attack on the way. “I … I wanted one …”

            “Did you?” Frigga asked, though the look in her light blue eyes was asking something else entirely. “You have never desired putting this … this _filth_ on yourself before. Why now?”

            It was a trap. Thor knew that right away. “I had a change of heart.”

            “Was it a change of heart or was it that _thug_ that changed _you_?”

            Keeping calm, keeping in line and restrained for a quicker escape was completely forgotten after his mother’s question. He felt his muscles seizing up so quickly, it was almost painful. _How dare she_? She had no fucking right.

            “That is my boyfriend that you’re talking about,” Thor said after a moment of absolute silence. His voice was nothing but forced patience, the edges shaky and bitter. If he hadn’t been trembling with rage, Thor might have noticed how he characterised Loki as his boyfriend, whereas before, they hadn’t bothered with such things as labels. But he was angry and he was furious and he was so fucking pissed off _and why were they so fucking close to him?_ “Do not call him that again.”

            Odin was shaking his head, the expression on his face telling Thor right away that they weren’t paying a single mind as to what he was saying. Thor felt his face flushing red, but it had nothing to do with humiliation or how good his father was at making him feel as though he was insignificant. No, his face was flushing red from how irate he was. If he had the chance, he was sure that he’d put his fist through something.

            “You are a disappointment,” Odin growled, his lips curling up in disgust.

            “Funny – I was thinking the same thing about you.”

            Whatever victory Thor felt at the shocked look that immediately materialised across Odin’s face was short lived, because his cheek smarted, his mother’s hand hitting him hard enough to knock his head to the side.

            “Don’t you ever speak to your father like that again, you stupid boy!” She shouted. Once upon a time, Thor would have reeled back, eyes gone wide, but not today. Not now, not after everything that the two of them had put him through. Thor clenched his jaw and slowly turned his head to look Frigga in the eye. “You have … so much potential …” She continued after a moment, her voice shaking with how furious she was. In that moment, they actually had something in common with one another. “… and yet you throw it all away for a boy even stupider than yourself.”

            “My choices are my own. I have the right –” Thor started, but was once again interrupted when Odin slammed his fist down on the counter beside Thor. Against his better judgement – honestly, it was instinctual above anything else – Thor flinched.

            “You have _no_ right, none that you deserve!”

            “Since the day you met that boy –”

            “–That boy’s name is Loki –” Thor interjected, but Frigga wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying – typical.

            “– there has been a change in you. You have been rude and crass and you are doing everything in your power to disobey us. That, my son, is going to change. If I ever see or find out that you were with that boy again …” Frigga trailed off, her face flushed and her nails digging into the palms of her hands. Thor watched as her knuckles turned white with how tightly she was clenching them. He wondered what she would truly do. He should feel something, but he didn’t feel anything at all …

            “The summer is almost over and the internship at Stark Industries is about to start,” Odin said, sounding a fraction of a bit calmer than he had previously. There was still tenseness to him, as though he was just waiting for Thor to say or do something so that he could perhaps get a chance to strike him. “You’re leaving for New York the day after tomorrow –”

            _That_ certainly got Thor’s attention. “ _What_?”

            “– where you will remain until you have impressed Howard Stark,” Odin said, talking right over Thor, ignoring the outraged look on his face. Thor hated him so much. “The future of Borson Industries is resting on your shoulders and you will _not_ let us down. It’s time to bring in a new generation. That _will_ be you, Thor.”

            Before he could say anything to insight any more rage from his parents, Thor shoved past them, uncaring that he knocked Frigga back several steps with the force of his shouldering, and stormed out of the kitchen. He was dizzy in the head with how heavily he was breathing, his entire body shaking and trembling and how he was even able to walk, Thor had yet to figure out. God, he wanted more than anything to just snap. Perhaps what he was doing right now was snapping. Grabbing a backpack from his closet, Thor overturned and emptied the contents before yanking clothes from their hangers. He had no idea what he was grabbing and stuffing into the backpack and, honestly, he didn’t give a fuck. All he knew was that this was a long time coming. He was sick of it, sick of them, and the second he walked out the door, he was never coming back.

-x- -x- -x-

            It would have been ridiculous for Thor to go straight to Loki’s house, seeing as how he was only at his own house for a grand total of what might have been thirty minutes. It was almost funny how that was how long Thor could stomach being there, how frustrating and annoying and fucking horrible his time in his own home was. And the only times that he could handle it was when he had a distraction – said distraction, of course, was messaging and texting Loki. Oh, and when he was asleep, because at least then he was unconscious.

            He didn’t bother taking his car. The car was a reminder of his parents. The car was something that was given to him by them, so he kept it in the driveway, wanting nothing more to do with it. He underestimated the distance to the diner, but at least it had given Thor time to think, to figure out exactly what he was going to do. The last thing he wanted to do was think about what he _had_ done, how he pretty much said _fuck it_ to his parents, leaving, running away. That just … it seemed too complicated and final and permanent, and a part of Thor was afraid that it wouldn’t exactly _stay_ that way, but he needed to believe that it would.

            So when he finally got to the diner, it was around eleven. His feet were fucking sore.

            “You look like shit,” Sif said when he walked into the diner. No-one was inside, but that seemed normal. Thor had been there enough to know when the crowd usually came in. “Are you okay?”

            “Define okay,” Thor replied rhetorically, smiling weakly when Sif put a glass of water on the counter in front of him. Not only were his feet sore, but he was hot as hell. The sun, though not at its peak just yet, was hot and emanated heat that had sweat running down Thor’s neck, causing his shirt to stick to his back. Water was very much needed.

            Pulling out his mobile, he sighed and opened a message before skimming his fingers over the keyboard. _‘Are you up yet? I’m at the diner right now and I want to see you.’_ _Need_ was a much better word to describe how much Thor wanted to see Loki, but he didn’t want to sound too desperate. His parents were assholes and he basically left them, risking everything. The only stable thing Thor felt he had in that moment was Loki. He needed his support, needed his shoulder to lean on.

            A reply came a moment later, and when Thor opened the message and read through it, he felt his heart lurch, his stomach dropping, because … what he fuck? Before he was aware of it, he jumped from the seat he was sitting in in from of the counter, and rushed to the back, pushing the door open.

            Sif jumped when she saw him. “Thor, you can’t –”

            “I don’t know what’s going on, but Loki said Code Red. He wants me there now. I don’t –” He had no idea what the hell the text meant, but it was as though Thor was _feeling_ Loki instead of just reading a text from his mobile. There was a sense of urgency and … well, hadn’t he trusted his instincts the last time when something sounded fishy?

            He didn’t have to finish his sentence, because Sif’s entire face paled. Ripping the apron from around her waist, Sif grabbed his wrist, and pulled him from the back room and out of the diner, rushing towards an aged looking pick-up truck. “Get in now.”

            “What the hell is going on?” Thor demanded as he climbed in. He did so just in time, because Sif had already started the engine and was peeling out of the diner’s parking lot.

            She cast a glance at him before turning her gaze back to the road, a worried look on her face. “He hasn’t told you yet?”

            “Told me what?” Thor asked a hint of impatience in his voice. His fear, his confusion only increased when he saw how fast Sif was going. “Sif, what –”

            “It’s his father,” Sif interrupted, throwing him another look before her dark brown eyes turned steely. “The rest is for Loki to tell you, but the man’s bad news.”

            Thor didn’t know what to think, so he remained silent for the rest of the drive. He had no idea what to expect, what exactly Loki’s father had to do with any of this Code Red business, but there was no denying his worry. His heart was thumping against his rib-cage and all thoughts of his parents were gone from his mind, leaving only Loki and Agatha and Farbauti in his mind. Were they okay? What could possibly be happening that would have Sif so worried? Why did she leave during an opening shift without even telling Hogun?

            Before Thor was aware of it, they pulled to a stop a block from where Loki lived. He furrowed his brow as he exited the car, following after Sif as he hurried down the road. “Why do I get the feeling that you’ve done this before?”

            The question was rhetorical, used to try to downplay his apprehension, but Sif answered anyway. The reply only made his stomach drop once more. “I’ve done this more times than you could possibly imagine,” The tone of her voice was resigned, was filled with anger and sadness. God, what in the hell was even going on?

            When they edged closer to the house, Sif’s steps lightened, her body bending slightly as she moved towards the back of the house. Unsure of what else to do, Thor followed suit.

            “Stand by this window,” Sif whispered, halting for just a moment to give Thor instruction. He was secretly grateful, because he honestly had no idea what was going on or what he was supposed to do, how he was supposed to act. “Whistle or make a noise if you see anyone who isn’t Loki.”

            Alarm swept through Thor, but before he could question what that was supposed to mean, Sif was moving, disappearing around the house. Sighing in frustration, Thor turned back to the window. From his vantage point, he could see a hallway leading towards the bedrooms where Loki and Agatha slept. He stared down that hallway for almost a full minute and nothing happened. But then he heard it – the sound of something breaking. Thor jumped and held his breath, heart pounding. The noise had come from inside the house and, no matter how he angled he couldn’t see where it was coming from.

            Against Sif’s orders, Thor found himself moving along the side of the wall, away from where Sif had went, cautiously peering through windows. A moment later, he found Loki standing in the middle of the living room with a look on his face that was something Thor had never seen before – fear.

            He needed to get in there. That was the first thought that came through him. Something was seriously wrong and he was just fucking standing out there, watching helplessly from outside. He didn’t even know what was going on, but it didn’t matter, because that look was something Thor didn’t want to see on Loki’s face.

            Loki had yet to see him. No, Loki was staring at someone who Thor was now noticing. Too wrapped up in his concern for Loki, Thor hadn’t even seen the man who was standing in the entryway of the living room, a look of pure rage on his face. He was tall with jet black hair and eyes that were a piercing blue colour – eyes that were colder than even Odin’s. He was holding a bottle of what looked to be whiskey or scotch or whatever alcoholic drink in his hand.

            “Laufey, you need to calm down,” Thor heard Loki say, his voice calm, despite the tension that radiated from his body. Thor could practically feel it from where he was standing on the outside of the house.

            “Oh, I’m Laufey now, am I, boy?” The man growled, stepping further into the room. Loki remained standing where he was until the man – _Laufey_ – got about five feet from him, and then he started to slowly back up. “You’ve got no fucking respect. Where is my daughter? I want to see her.”

            “You’re not going to see her,” Loki shot, shaking his head.

            The sound of the slap had Thor clamping a hand over his mouth, his eyes widening, because Laufey struck Loki so hard, he fell right to the ground. The bottle dropped from his hand and Laufey was grabbing Loki, holding him by his upper arms, slamming him against the wall. “You don’t fucking tell me what to do! Do you hear me?”

            “Yes, yes!” Loki quickly replied. He was cringing back, turning his head away when Laufey got into his face.

            “You do not fucking move!” Laufey snarled before slamming Loki against the wall and storming out of sight. Thor watched in utter shock as Loki slid down the wall, burying his face into his hands as more crashing could be heard deeper inside the house.

            Thor had had enough. Turning, he quickly ran towards the back door, but before he could go inside, before he could rush in there and get Loki, because _God_ , he needed to get Loki, Sif came out, holding Agatha in her arms.

            “Thor, don’t,” Sif hissed, already sensing what it was that he was going to do. Thor didn’t say anything, though, couldn’t. He moved to go around her, but she quickly wrapped her arm through his, pulling him away from the house. “Listen to me, Thor. Loki will come to the diner. Just please, come on. Loki has to keep Agatha away from that man. This is what he wants, now come on,” She begged as she yanked and pulled him even further from the house.

            “Did you see what he just did?” Thor exclaimed, shocked and outraged that Sif was just willing to leave Loki alone with that man. He was crazy and he hit Loki and –

            “I know what he did!” Sif snapped, her nails digging into his arm. In her own arm, Agatha was curled up, her body trembling. Thor hadn’t noticed until she made a whimpering noise, her face red and sticky with tears – tears that had yet to stop falling. Thor swallowed thickly. This was all so fucked up. “Thor, please. I need you to take her so I can drive.”

            There were still things being broken inside of the house. Thor could even hear muffled shouts of rage that seemed to be coming from Laufey – probably because he couldn’t find Agatha. Just the thought of that man getting his hands anywhere near Agatha had Thor reaching for the girl. She was everything to Loki, which – in an odd way – kind of meant that she was everything to Thor, too. His mind was all over the place, his emotions going every which way. He made no sense in his own mind, but when he pulled Agatha out of Sif’s arms, the little girl curling against his chest, Thor knew that it was true. He couldn’t allow her to get hurt. Loki would never forgive him and Thor wouldn’t be able to forgive himself, either.

            So he turned around and followed after Sif. It was the right thing. He’d take care of Agatha first and then he would take care of Loki. He just hoped Loki would get to them soon.


	7. I Must Be Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a positive and a negative. Positive – Thor and Loki’s relationship is still going great. Negative – Thor realises that there are some things you can’t escape from. While dealing with his own problems, Thor begins to see that maybe he’s not the only one with secrets.

            Hands shaking, knee bouncing anxiously under the table, Thor kept his eyes trained on the door while Sif sat in the corner of the diner with Agatha on her lap. A part of Thor felt bad for not paying much attention to her, for not keeping her close. He had wondered briefly if Loki would take offense to that, but he soon dismissed the thought – Loki couldn’t fault him for not knowing how to take care of a child. He had no siblings of his own and was only just getting comfortable around the little girl. So Thor sat back while Sif took care of her, since she obviously knew what the hell she was doing. Besides, Thor was too preoccupied with staring out the windows of the diner, searching for a head of jet black hair and a set of wild emerald green eyes.

            He couldn’t get the sight of Loki crouched against the wall, his knees to his chest and his head in his hands out of his mind. He couldn’t get the sight of Loki’s father slapping him so hard across the face that he fell to the ground, his cheek red and most likely bruised now, out of his mind. And what got to Thor the most was how he just … turned around and left, and even though he knew that he was doing the right thing, even though he knew that what he had done was what Loki would have wanted … it still left a sour taste in his mouth, still had him filling with shame, because he had just _left_. He left not knowing what else Laufey would have done to Loki when he didn’t find what it was he was looking for. Loki could be in an even worse state than what he was before they left, and Thor wouldn’t even know.

            And what shocked him about the entire situation was the level of protectiveness that just crashed into him, because _God_ , he had wanted to run into that house and get in between Loki and his father. He had wanted more than anything to get him the hell out of there, because Loki was the most hard-working person Thor had known, was the most mature and the smartest and the kindest person he had ever known – once his guard was down and he was allowed inside – and to know, to _see_ what was happening to him … Closing his eyes, Thor focussed on calming his breath, on slowing the pounding of his heart against his rib-cage. There was nothing he could do about it now. He just had to wait.

            And waiting fucking sucked.

            There was nothing around the diner that held his attention, especially since there was no-one inside and, as cruel as it sounded – because it certainly sounded as such in his head – he didn’t want to watch Agatha, because she looked too much like Loki, which would ultimately lead him to thinking about him some more, about the look of fear in his eyes, something that Thor had never seen before on him … So, before he could drive himself absolutely insane, before he could convince himself to go against what he knew Loki would want and go back to the house, Thor turned his gaze around the diner, to the sticky menus all the way to the vinyl that was torn in places. Sparkling blue eyes travelled around until they landed on a particular booth by the window, where he could remember sitting several months ago. That day had marked the start of his revolution, to him no longer letting his mother and father run his life. Loki had no idea how much he had changed his life for the better, and yet there he sat, doing absolutely nothing to change his.

            Slamming his hands down on top of the table, causing Sif and Agatha to jump, their eyes immediately locking on him, Thor stood from where he was sitting, forcing a small smile to his face. “I’m sorry. I’m going to go outside for a minute.”

            A warning crossed over Sif’s features. “Thor –”

            “I’m just need a bit of air. I’ll be right outside,” He said, not waiting to hear what she would say. Thor knew that she was only trying to do what Loki wanted, but fuck that. She might be willing to allow whatever was happening to Loki happen, but Thor sure as hell wasn’t. Only after he stepped outside did regret fill him. Sif had known Loki longer than he did. He knew that she cared deeply for him and for Agatha. There was no way she was comfortable with what was happening – Loki probably forced her to promise to let Laufey focus his attention on him while she got Agatha out of the house.

            Sighing, Thor walked to the side of the diner and immediately leaned against it, closing his eyes against the glare of the sun. The heat was almost suffocating. It was much more comfortable inside the diner, but Thor didn’t want comfort. Why should he have comfort when Loki didn’t have that luxury?

            He really needed to stop thinking like that. Honestly, he couldn’t change what had happened. Despite it not leaving his mind, it was in the past. All he could do now was wait and be there for whenever Loki came back. Because he would come back – it was only in what state he was returned that egged at Thor’s mind. All he knew was that how he was feeling now, the helplessness … it was exactly how he felt with his parents, before Loki pulled his head above water –

            “You’re doing that thing again,” A voice said to his right, causing Thor’s head to snap up and turn in that direction, because he knew and loved that voice so fucking much. “You know – that thing where you think way too much for your own good? You should work more on that.”

            _Loki._

            Before Thor was even aware of what he was doing, he had crossed the distance between them and, without even thinking about how Loki would take it, how he would handle being touched, Thor threw his arms around him. The relief that surged inside of him was enough to make him weak in the knees, was enough to have his breath catch in his throat, because … _God_. His eyes squeezed shut when he felt Loki’s arms wrap around him, his fingers clenching in his shirt, wrinkling the material, but Thor didn’t give a damn. He was just so fucking happy to see him, to feel him, to know that he was okay – or was he?

            Pulling away, Thor cupped Loki’s face, sparkling blue eyes searching over his body, checking for any visible injuries. When he saw none – other than the hints of a bruise yet to be formed – he dragged Loki back against him, hands wrapping around his waist, around the small of his back. Loki smelt like cinnamon and sweat and he missed him so fucking much.

            “Don’t ever make me do that again,” Thor said against the crook of Loki’s neck. He wasn’t even aware he was rocking them both back and forth until he – for the second time – pulled away enough to look Loki in the eye. “Don’t ever make me stand back while he’s hurting you like that,” He ran his thumb along Loki’s jaw-line when he flinched. “Why didn’t you _tell_ me what was going on? The bruise on your wrist weeks ago –”

            Loki only smiled softly. “You didn’t tell me about the internship at Stark Industries.”

            Thor opened his mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. To be quite honest, Loki’s words shocked him and, at first, he didn’t know where it came from, didn’t know how Loki even found out, but then that day at the diner came rushing to the forefront of his mind, that day at the diner when Tony Stark and his lackies had Loki fired. So much had happened that Thor didn’t even realise Loki had heard about it.

            “The walls in this place are rather thin. I was on the other side of the door,” Loki clarified, as though reading Thor’s mind.

            “Why didn’t you say anything sooner then?” Thor found himself asking unsure if he should be annoyed that Loki had been eavesdropping or afraid of the re-action. Loki’s expression … well, he couldn’t quite read that expression.

            “I don’t know,” Loki shrugged. “I figured you would tell me when you were ready.”

            “Doesn’t matter anymore,” Thor replied, shaking his head. He ran his hands down Loki’s arms until he got to his hands. He linked them together, tangling them together. “I left.”

            “Left …?”

            “Threw shit into a backpack and _left_ -left,” Thor replied, mirroring Loki’s previous motion by shrugging his shoulders. “My stuff is somewhere in the diner. I don’t know where it’s at. I lost track of it after that text,” He couldn’t help but swallowing thickly.

            Loki smiled, nodding his head. “I’m impressed. I can’t wait to see the look on your parents’ faces when they realise you aren’t coming home. Where are you going to stay?”

            He would have smirked and laughed and replied with a sardonic retort, but Thor didn’t. They were acting like things were normal, but they weren’t. It was probably so stupid of him to do, but Thor found himself getting angry, frustrated, still in the fucking dark about everything. So instead of continuing on with that conversation – it was something that could be picked up at a later time, anyway – Thor said: “I just watched your father slap you to the ground.”

            “Yeah, wasn’t my finest moment,” Loki replied, face shutting down and tightening. Thor blamed himself – it was probably the tone of his voice – but he couldn’t help it. How the hell was he supposed to deal with any of it if he wasn’t getting the guidelines or any affirmation from Loki about what the hell happened, how he should handle it? “What of it?”

            Desperation suddenly clung to Thor, causing him to take a small step closer, his hands cupping Loki’s face once more, his forehead pressing against Loki’s in a need to be even closer to him. “Please don’t do that to me. Please. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do right now.”

            Thor felt Loki’s breath against his lips when he sighed, felt as his hands came to rest on his hips. “My father is a drunk. The story of how my sister and I came into this world is not a pretty one, but all you need to know is that he’s not a good person. Like I told you before, I’ll do anything to keep Agatha safe. So when he barges into my home, I hide her. He gets pissed off and starts throwing punches. Eventually he leaves and the cycle repeats.”

            “But … why haven’t you called the police?”

            Loki snorted. “And what the fuck are they going to do? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we live in a very shitty place. They don’t care about us.”

            He wanted to continue arguing that point, because the police _would_ do something. He could make a call to Heimdall and … and Heimdall would call his parents and then they would snoop and cause problems on all fronts. But at the same time, wouldn’t it be worth it to just go through it? It would mean the safety of Loki, Agatha, and Farbauti, and Thor found himself growing increasingly protective of them the longer he thought about it. Loki had done so much for him, and his feelings for him were only growing more and more. And sweet, sweet Agatha – Thor thought she was precious and she was obviously so very important to Loki. Certainly he couldn’t stop thinking about Farbauti and her kindness towards him, the way that she had been so very considerate of his feelings, making him feel as though she truly cared about him. She was the mother he wished he had, and he was truly jealous of Loki for having someone so loving.

            So, yes, Thor wanted to take care of them, wanting to do whatever he could to keep them safe.

            Clearing his throat, Thor nodded his head, doing as Loki wanted and dropping the subject. Perhaps he could persuade Loki at a later time to take action against his father, but until that time … “I’m homeless now.”

            “Hmm …” Loki hummed. “That doesn’t bode too well for you.”

            Thor grinned. He could sense the mood shifting into something less tense and more playful. “I’ll live like a bum, get dirty.”

            Loki laughed and shoved Thor away from him, though he kept a hand balled into the fabric of his shirt. “You privileged fucker,” Loki shook his head, and Thor couldn’t help but smile, leaning in, and pressing his lips against Loki’s. When the kiss ended, Loki’s cheeks were flushed, a light dust of pink painted over his pale skin. “Let’s get your things then and go home.”

-x- -x- -x-

            “I don’t understand how she has so much shit,” Loki said. The mixture of frustration and adoration in his voice as he spoke of his sister had Thor grinning.

            “You have no-one to blame, but yourself,” Thor replied, tossing a worn looking stuffed animal into the trunk at the foot of her bed. “You’re the one who keeps buying her things.”

            “You know, Thor, when I vent and complain, I don’t expect you to point out the obvious,” Loki said, throwing a book in Thor’s direction that went wide.

            Thor smiled. He realised that he’d been doing that a lot lately, but who could blame him? After spending a full week at Loki’s house, integrating with Agatha and Farbauti … well, he wasn’t ashamed to say that he truly felt like a part of the family. He helped Farbauti clean the kitchen, watched and played with Agatha while Loki and his mother cooked – or at least on the rare occasions that Farbauti was actually home to participate in family meals. And honestly, what touched Thor the most, what made Thor fall in love with the family the most, was how _they_ treated _him_. Because he wasn’t a stranger to them – he was an addition to their small family.

            Agatha adored him – loved even more to jump on top of him when he was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels. From there on, it was just a matter of who tired first, because they would roll around on the floor, playing and laughing. A part of Thor felt foolish and immature for being so willing to play with dolls and have imaginary tea-parties, but … well, who could truly blame him? He’d lived his entire life with strict, controlling parents. He had no-one else. So to be in the company of a free-spirited child … well, Thor wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to put a smile on the girl’s face.

            And Farbauti – at first, Thor had been unsure, nervous even, to try to get close. Though she had been kind at Agatha’s birthday-party and the morning after, why would she continue to be afterwards? It wasn’t as though he had a wonderful mother-figure … but his concerns had been for nought, because when Thor had been hesitant to approach her, Farbauti approached him. At first, it had been small things – hovering over him when he was getting set up in Loki’s room, asking if he needed anything. It then escalated to playful teases and half-hearted pushes in the kitchen when he ‘got in the way’ while she and Loki were cooking. From there, it had been much easier for Thor to drop his guard and come to the realisation that she was nothing like his own mother. She was better.

            And Thor wasn’t ashamed to admit that he was absolutely in love with Loki’s family.

            “Hey,” Loki called, pulling him from his thoughts. He looked over, catching Loki’s gaze, his emerald green eyes sparkling under the incandescent lighting. “If you’re going to be pulled into your head, at least bring me with you. I’m cleaning up my sister’s shit – save me before I stab myself in the face with this plastic spoon,” Loki looked around. “Where the fuck does this thing go with, anyway?”

            “In the corner with the rest of the plastic kitchen stuff,” Thor replied after a quick look around the room. He ignored the questioning look Loki sent him – he’d spent several hours in that room throughout the week of living with Loki and his family. He knew where Agatha’s play-things were at.

            “Boys,” Farbauti called, raising Thor’s and Loki’s attention. “Dinner is ready!”

            “We’ll be right there!” Thor called back. He quickly started picking things up and putting them back in their rightful place, stopping only when he heard Loki chuckle. He looked up and turned in his direction. Loki was standing by the trunk at the foot of Agatha’s bed, his arms crossed and a peculiar look on his face. “What?”

            “You’re feeling right at home, aren’t you?” He wasn’t sure what Loki meant by that, but he knew that it wasn’t meant to be harsh or cruel. If anything, Thor could see how happy Loki was that he was fitting in with his family. After all, Loki knew what shitty parents he had. This living situation was temporary, he knew, but at least it was giving him the chance to bond and to actually see and feel what it was like to have an actual family who cared for each other. And Loki was giving that to him.

            Smiling, Thor closed the distance between them and wrapped an arm around Loki, pulling him up against his chest, the force knocking the air out of Loki. Before he could re-gain that breath, Thor slammed their lips together, acting on instinct before he could think about what it was that he was doing. But honestly … why should he have to think about what it was that he was doing? Thor cared about Loki, and he knew that Loki cared about him. So Thor kissed the hell out of Loki, tracing his tongue along the seam of his lips.

            “Let’s go,” Thor said when he pulled away from Loki, taking great pleasure in the way Loki was slightly panting, his lips a darker shade of red. “Oh, and kiss my ass.”

            Loki snorted and followed him as he walked out of the room, his cheeks – Thor noticed – also flushed. “With pleasure,” He purred, causing Thor to laugh, though he felt a stirring deep in his stomach.

            He looked back and grinned at Loki, making a point of running his eyes up and down Loki’s body. Perhaps he should cool it down a bit … after all, they were in Loki’s home, where his mother and little sister were also in. The last thing he wanted was to make moves on Loki with them in the very next room.

            And just the idea that he was thinking so casually about doing that had Thor feel giddy inside. God, he was being crazy. But Loki was well aware of what he was doing, though, watching him with that calculated stare of his. Loki closed the distance between them and pecked at his earlobe, hands running down his chest, coming to a stop at his hips. Thor’s heart felt as though it was going to explode.

            “Like what you see?” Loki asked – more like _murmured_ in his ear.

            “Always” Thor smiled, pressing his lips to Loki’s once more.

-x- -x- -x-

            The wind was blowing a lot, making strands of hair that weren’t tied in a bun at the nape of his neck fly in his face. Agatha seemed to have it worse, her jet black hair carrying in all directions, but she didn’t seem to mind. She was preoccupied with running away from Thor and the water he was blasting her way, screaming and laughing the entire time. And honestly … Thor couldn’t think of a better way to spend his birthday than that. He felt nothing but ease where he was at, nothing but acceptance and warmth where he was with Agatha and Loki and Farbauti. With a roar, Thor lunged himself at Agatha, wrapping his large arms around her small frame, throwing her up into the air before catching her, her cries of delight piercing his ears and causing a huge smile to cross his lips.

            “What are you two doing out here?” Thor turned at the sound of Loki’s voice, his smile growing at the sight of him. He wore dark jeans and a grey shirt that emphasised the brilliance of his emerald green eyes – honestly, Thor swore that Loki was doing that on purpose. How could he _not_ look? At Thor’s staring, he continued speaking. “Mother is putting the final touches on your cake. You’ll be able to go inside and out of this heat soon enough.”

            Thor laughed and tossed Agatha in the air one more time before setting her on her own two feet. “The heat doesn’t bother me.”

            “That makes one of us.”

            “So weak you are, Loki,” Thor teased, picking up the water-gun that he had dropped previously. He couldn’t help himself. He was feeling so good, so relaxed and free, as though all of the weight he had carried finally lifted from his shoulders, making him so much lighter. It was something that Thor hadn’t felt in such a long time.

            “You can go f –” Loki started only to abruptly cut off when Thor shot him in the face with a blast of water. Thor snorted and Agatha started laughing.

            “Language, Loki,” Thor said, a smirk on his face. He was probably going to pay for that later and he more than likely wouldn’t see it coming, but for the moment, Thor soaked in his victory of taking Loki completely for surprise. “Not in front of Aggie – you know better. Doesn’t he?”

            “Yeah, Loki, you’re so bad!” Agatha joined, giggling and bouncing up and down, as though she was just waiting for Loki to start chasing them around. Thor loved how energetic she was, how the light in her eyes shined so brightly when she was excited.

            “I’d be pissed, but I’m actually impressed that you have the balls to do something like that,” Loki said, wiping water from his eyes.

            Thor had no idea what to expect, but Loki pulling the shirt over his head and tossing it in his direction was _not_ one of them. And yeah, the heat was definitely getting to him now, because Loki was all lean, well-defined muscle, his skin pale and – _holy shit_ , Thor could see the top of a tattoo that was just below the hem of his jeans. His face flushed a deep red; his head spinning so quickly, Thor thought that he was going to lose his balance. He couldn’t look away.

            “Agatha!” Farbauti called from inside the house, and _that_ snapped Thor out of his ogling. Swallowing thickly, Thor turned and looked around the yard, searching for the little girl.

            “Mother is almost done with the cake – you better run in there if you want to add your own touch to it,” Loki replied, speaking as though there was nothing out of the ordinary going on. The sly fucker – Thor felt something churn deep within his gut and it took everything in his power to not look Loki over once more.

            Agatha ran into the house, her tiny feet pounding against the grass and up the few steps until she disappeared, the door clicking shut behind her. From there, Loki’s eyes found his, and Thor watched, finally allowing himself to look now that Agatha wasn’t around, as Loki moved towards him. His mouth felt dry and he forced himself to swallow.

            “Payback came earlier than I expected,” Thor said. His voice was shaky and he cursed himself, willing himself to get a grip already, because he was acting absurd. _God_ , it was really hot …

            Loki hummed and continued to move closer and, with each step he took, Thor couldn’t help but take him all in. And he found that his eyes kept drifting back down, back to the top of that tattoo that was just peeking out – “Three guess and I bet you still won’t be able to tell me what it is.”

            Thor blinked, eyes coming back to rest on Loki’s. “What?”

            “The tattoo you keep staring at.”

            “Oh,” He really needed to focus now. He was acting so ridiculous, but … _God_. “What if I don’t figure it out? Will you tell me?”

            Loki shook his head slowly, his lips curling up into a smirk that was too primal and suggestive. Was he truly trying to kill him? “You’ll have to find out all on your own.”

            Thor’s brain stopped working, his throat constricting, because _that_ was definitely an invitation that he was more than willing to accept. The thought alone had his heart pounding almost painfully against his rib-cage. “Are you suggesting I take your pants off to find out?”

            “If you’re that curious,” Loki said, the smirk on his face growing all the more.

            Of all the times in the world to interrupt, it was in _that_ moment. A car drove down the street and parked right in front of the house, the sounds of two doors opening and slamming shut, causing Thor’s attention to snap in that direction. Honestly, Thor had expected this visit a lot sooner than what it was, but he couldn’t help but scowl at the sight of his parents storming towards him. The sight of them alone brought back memories of their last argument before he walked out, and that was enough to have his anger crawl back to the forefront of his mind. He was done with them, had proved as such when he walked out the fucking door and hadn’t returned, but apparently, that wasn’t the case for his mother and father.

            “Do you have any idea how worried we were?” Frigga demanded when she stopped in front of Thor. She didn’t even spare a glance in Loki’s direction, and Thor found that that annoyed him more than her pathetic concern for him and his safety. “We were –”

            “What are you doing here?” Thor interrupted, squaring his shoulders and staring his mother right in the eye. “I’m in the middle of something right now and I’d like to get back to it.”

            Frigga looked taken aback at the tone of his voice, as though she wasn’t expecting something like that to come from him, but she was quick to recover. Her face tightened, his light blue eyes growing dark. “The game is over now, Thor. Get your things and get in the car. We’re taking you home.”

            “As far as I’m concerned, I am home,” Thor replied. On instinct, he glanced over at Loki, who was watching him, an unidentifiable look in his eyes. But Thor didn’t feel as though it was anything bad … it was actually a comforting look, as odd as that sounded. “I’m not leaving, but you are.”

            Odin scoffed and shook his head, his hand coming up to run through his neatly trimmed beard. “No, Thor. It’s time to grow up now. Get your stuff, get in the car, and don’t make me cause a scene.”

            “Fuck you.”

            “Hello?”

            Thor didn’t turn at the sound of Farbauti’s voice. He was too busy glaring at Odin. He had no idea where this gusto came from, but he wasn’t going to question it. He had wanted to say that – and more – to Odin for so fucking long, and to finally bring it up from where he kept it hidden for so long … it felt empowering.

            Farbauti came up beside him, her hand coming up to gently wrap around his forearm, as though she needed to comfort him or hold him back in some way. Thor found himself relaxing at her touch, going so far as to taking a step back. Speaking of empowerment, there was an essence of superiority about her now that had Thor paying special attention, his gaze locked on her. Beside him, he felt Loki doing the same, his back straightening, arms coming to rest at his sides, as though he was bracing himself to jump into action should things turn ugly.

            And then Thor realised that they were preparing to go into battle against his parents for him. Instead of feeling guilty like he previously would have, Thor, too braced himself. There was no way he was going to stand back and allow his parents to ridicule her or Loki and get away with it. He left them, disowned them in his own right – fuck them and fuck their schemes. Farbauti, Agatha, _Loki_ , they were his family now – not Odin and Frigga.

            “Can I help you with something?” Farbauti asked, her eyes shifting between Odin and Frigga.

            Frigga stepped forward, a gentle smile forming. Thor felt disgusted. Did she truly think she could play Farbauti? “I’m truly sorry to come unannounced, but we’ve been searching for Thor all week. As a mother, I’m sure you can imagine how worried we were.”

            “As a _mother_ , yes, I can imagine how worried I would be.”

            Thor watched in amusement as Frigga’s eyes flashed, anger flaring up before immediately disappearing. Farbauti had yet to say hardly anything at all and the mask Frigga wore was already slipping. Pride swelled up in his chest and he allowed a small smile to cross his features, the action gaining the attention of Odin. But who the fuck cared? Thor sure as hell didn’t.

            “I’m so relieved that you’ve been taking good care of him, but we’re here to take him home now,” Frigga continued, putting a hand over her heart, as though she was genuinely touched.

            “I’m glad he’s _finally_ being taken care of, but it’s Thor’s decision whether or not he wants to return home.”

            “And the answer’s no, by the way, in case my previous refusal has yet to register,” Thor added, taking a step to the side, so that he wasn’t standing partially behind Farbauti anymore.

            Odin, too, stepped up, his face red in anger. He looked as though he was physically restraining himself from either reaching out to grab Thor or from slapping the shit out of him for causing so much trouble. Thor almost wished that he would hit him. His heart was pounding, adrenaline racing through him. He would give anything to let out some frustration. He had never felt such anger before in his life, and he was still trying to figure out where it all came from, but it was something to think about later, once they were gone. Thor had to pay attention to Odin and Frigga now.

            “You have absolutely no choice in the matter, you shit!” He exclaimed, the vein in his temple pulsing visibly. “Now get your fucking –”

            “Actually, he has all the right in the world,” Loki spoke up, his voice neutral and calm, despite the growing tension around them. He didn’t even blink when Odin’s glare snapped in his direction. “Today is his eighteenth birthday, which means he’s legally an adult, which also means that you have no authority to dictate his life anymore.”

            “Stay the fuck out of our business, boy,” Odin growled, his body angling towards Loki.

            Fury that Thor didn’t even know existed inside of him flared up then. He saw red in that moment, because Odin looked absolutely livid and the very idea of him losing control and raising a hand to Loki after everything that he had been through rushed to the front of his mind, but before he could think about launching himself in his father’s direction, Farbauti eased herself in front of Loki, the power radiating from her enough to have Thor backing down – but only slightly. His body remained tense and, without even realising what he was doing, he reached out and gently wrapped his hand around Loki’s wrist, pulling him closer.

            He watched in anger as Farbauti took back the control and, even though she was slightly shorter than Odin, the intensity of her stare was powerful enough to seem as though she was looking both him and Frigga down. “If you so much as speak to _my sons_ in that manner again, you’ll find yourselves in a situation where money can’t get you out,” She paused only for a moment, just long enough to level the both of them a look that had Thor’s heart pounding all the more. “Now turn around and get off of my property. Tomorrow, Thor will return to get the rest of his belongings. And then from there, you will have no further contact with him.”

            Words could not express the elation that exploded inside of Thor. His eyes watered and he couldn’t help himself but smile when Farbauti turned to look at him, the desire to throw his arms around her and bury his face in the crook of her neck almost too strong for him to control. She understood, though. Thor knew that she did. He instantly leaned into her touch when she put an arm around both him and Loki, leading them away from where Odin and Frigga still stood.

            “Let’s eat some cake,” She said.

            It was almost surreal, stepping inside of the house. The smell of chocolate and homemade icing filled the air, the inside warm due to the oven. Agatha ran over to the three of them when they closed the door, her cheeks and fingers covered in red and gold and silver icing, sprinkles of various colours stuck to her arm.

            Farbauti scooped her up and carried her back into the kitchen, and Thor was oddly grateful that she didn’t say anything about what had happened. There was something final about her words, in the way that she took him in without even a second’s thought. And Thor felt it, too. He no longer felt like an Odinson at all. It was an amazing sensation.

            A hand on his forearm drew Thor’s attention away from Farbauti. When he turned to Loki, Loki didn’t say anything. He just wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck, pulling him into a hug. Thor had no idea where it had come from, but he instantly wrapped his arms around Loki’s bare waist, tightening the embrace. It felt natural holding Loki, as though it was something that was simply meant to be. Thor even didn’t bother chiding himself for the thought.

            A pair of lips pressed against his neck and then Loki gently pulled himself away. “I’m going to go grab a shirt. Then we can eat.”

            “Or you can bypass the shirt altogether,” Thor found himself saying, a grin spreading over his face. “This is a good look on you,” His words – just as his words from earlier, before his … before _Odin_ and _Frigga_ interrupted – came natural and without restraint. They came with perhaps the hint of longing, his thoughts drifting back to the tattoo that was just peeking over the hem of his jeans …

            “Pervy fuck,” Loki shoved Thor before moving down the hallway, a laugh escaping him. Thor melted at the sound. And, if he wasn’t mistaken – perhaps he was just imagining it – Loki’s hips swayed just a bit more than usual. The tease …

            Thor watched until he disappeared before making his way into the kitchen, where he was greeted with smiles from the other two members of his new family. Farbauti grinned and held out a container of sprinkles, inviting him over, Agatha giggling and squirting some icing into her mouth. Yeah, it was a really good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this! There will be more to come.


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